When viewed through tarnished fishbowl vision
humanity ripples in reckless precision
Workerbees buzz busily in their task
Chickens cluck hiding behind silver flask
Vultures crane and postulate
Mules and Elephants eradicate
What is, what's not,fish fries decide
while mother goose fails to provide
Monkey junkies run rampant in the street
Praying Mantis tries hard not to admit defeat
Possums all stop for one last dance
Sidewinders pounce and spoil the chance
Yellow breasted doves circle big oak trees
Grease painted flamingos are spreading disease
Swallows and Cocks scream to be left alone
Mad Dogs are fighting over meatless bone
Coyotes snap and howl at the moon
Storks are swooping in way to soon
And Ostriches everywhere try to bury heads deep
But it's too late...For what the worms have sewn,
So shall you reap
A contest entry
- Surrealism Contest for Beautiful Minds by reeseXtheXsoldier.
475 points, ended September 6, 2008, 14 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Important Issues by pinksnowboots.
570 points, ended February 19, 68 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Abstract poetry.... 500 points ... PW allowed. by Manoj Sanyal.
500 points, ended March 23, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Humankind by upperworld06.
550 points, ended April 23, 45 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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nice write, great imagery, thanks for entering
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interesting.................
Thanks for your participation.
Good luck,
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now this was interesting to say the least.
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Great form. Very nice. You made the written words sing, that's not an easy thing to do.
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great!
Oh! Very nice... This is really good... just what I'm looking for. Great piece! To the fianls with you!Thanks so much for entering! I look forward to seeing more of your work!
T.F.R.B.
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I always imagined surrealist poetry to be mainly about animals. ^.^ Loved this one. No matter the wit in this, (which makes me smile), I still feel a little shiver up my spine of foreboding.
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Wonderfully Awesome!
This is super good work that made me laugh. =D yes, there is much creativity. i wish you much luck, and i enjoyed the line about elephants and mules the most. lol!
-pb fudge
ps very attention catching! =D -
Yay! This is an awesome write, I love how animalswere showing different types of people and your language with the rhyming was just so amazing. Best of luck in the conest my dear friend.
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Wow, I like this one.Thank you for entering my contest with this poem I wish you the best and good luck...
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Brilliant language! Brilliant rhyme! It seems kind of random couplets...but that's what gives it it's appeal!
"Monkey junkies run rampant in the street
Praying Mantis tries hard not to admit defeat"
"Yellow breasted doves circle big oak trees
Grease painted flamingos are spreading disease"
Interestingly describing animals and other creatures while still rhyming using good language.
I got to admit, it's a little too much for the topic and message but I LOVE IT! Your writing in here is impecable! I think staying on track was the hardest thing
8/10! Keep going with this language!
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