Author notes
My first EVER form! *does a crazy dance* lol - Ballad Measure: 8 syllable line (may rhyme) followed by 6 syllable line (rhyme)
I'm running a contest on Form poetry.. had a mad idea to try some of the forms by including a little verse in my comments on the entries, picking something from their write to base mine on... *has lost it* lol... I have since added a fourth verse
This Form was used by cricketjeff in his poem The Catalyst - for details on the form check out his poem. Thanks also to cricket jeff for his suggestion on the line with "radiant" in... to read this as a 2 syllable count rather than 3 .. we Kiwis pronounce it 'ray-dee-int' lol
OK.. it's my first attempt at Form ever... so be gentle with me people!!
Comments
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You got an "Awwww" out of me
and that's quite rare these days.
I didn't know you could rhyme so well
...and first attempt tooo
Just shaweet I say!!!
Ken
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Just Beautiful
Oh the imagery and prayer is just beautiful. The rhyme, rhythem and flow was just remarkable. I loved every part of this poem for it read so flawlessly. Heart with soul my favorite kind of poetry.
Love Ya Sis
Kelle
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Thank you sis! This is the only time I have ever tried Form Poetry. Was a challenge but loved doing it! Should do it more often lol
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Lovely poem, such great flow. I really like the phrasing of "Past paths surrendered shadowed fear much sadness brought to face" I really enjoyed reading this write.
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Lovely poem..flows so well too...love the imagery...
and teh first 2 lines are my fav, I have a whole list dedicated to sun and moon poems...
My son just broke my record and drove his jeep over my arm and on my face as I type this...
you will do good in forms dear...
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hehe.. knew it had to happen soon
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lol..your prediction came true really soon!
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simply elegant and beautiful
The goddess of the sliver moon will wrap you in the mantle of her love and healing light
May you have her blessing this day and all days
Blessed be
light and love
Robert
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I think all of us wish another could bestow upon us such a wish. Such a beautifully crafted poem. I enjoyed reading very much.
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wow!!! this has me at a loss for words. brilliant. *bows*
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Beautiful Prayer
This is just beautiful and so touching. Your poem says a lot and your attempt to me is perfect. You are such an advanced poetess and I feel so honored to have the pleasure to read your poetry. Just shows the beauty that lies within your very heart and soul.
Much Love Always
Your Sis
Kelle Marie
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Amen!
Truly a potent and soul lifting prayer for the weary and wounded spirits. A prayer so worthy of surrendering too, as it guides us from out of the painful shadows into this "tender hue"... a place to release our inner sufferings and be soothed by its "gentle glow"
Thank you for sharing!
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(I step back and look at you, I step back one more step with my mouth open wide) - This my friend is spectacular! I have never seen you rhyme before and now that I see it, I realize just how perfect your gift is. You have the true heart of a poet and this composition proves it beyond any shadow of a doubt. Not only are your words pure art but you also created a masterpiece in structure by overlaying the verse and interfacing it with the graphic. Bravo!
Love,
Amera♥
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Thank you so much!!! I am greatly honoured by your comment hun.. coming from you it means so much as I am in awe of your talent!
(I used to rhyme a lot.. then started freeverse and lost it! lol)
Thank you again
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I think this is a wonderful first attempt at form. you created such an atmosphere with your words of inspiration....or should i say, search for inspiration. I think this is a great poem and it seems like nothing is forced. you also added alittle alliterations and rhyme that is not overdone.
I love it
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The rhyme is lovely and bounces like lyric up and down the scale when set to music. The moon is pleased to hear the price is paid for a moment of grace shared. The ear to sound lets this flow over the tongue smoothly and captures the reader left with a smile.
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Beautiful! I love your wording - I would not have known this was a 'form' - but then I don't know much about forms...lol...
I also pronounce radiant - 'ray-dee-int'......so I still read it as 3 syllables...lol
I couldn't pick a favorite line - they all go so well together!
Lovely!!
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Wonderful kiwi! I love form poetry and you did a terrific job with this!
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l.o.l.
how's this?... B.E.A.U.T.I.F.U.L.! DOES THAT WORK?
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This is so beautiful. It was so amazing to read. I loved the line "Please strength infuse in fragile flesh", your write has such great imagery. Well done, this is really a great write.
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This is such a beautiful write. I have never attempted any different style of writting before lol. I really like the imagery that you have used with this. Its hard to believe this is your first attempt! Thanks for sharing Auntie J!♥
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oh this is such a clever write, i love the ending of this and the form is most impressive. you are very clever
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Jackie, this is very good. Try it more often, it does take a fair bit of discipline but the end result is usually worth the effort.
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If it wasn't for your AN I don't think many would realise this is form, you've done it so smoothly, so pleased you posted it A stunning piece hunni, beautifully written...how's the migraine
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Way to go Jacks-- Great Form & Great Rhyme and
you know me--I got a "Thing" for Rhyme!!
Very Well Done!! Now I expect you to enter my numerous Rhyming Contests!!
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Thanks my friend! I'm a rhymer from way back.. just forgot how to do it! lol.. but Form
it was a challenge I tell ya! lol
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Nifty
Oh hey, it's a picture for a poem!! How snazzy =D
"sweep"
Shouldn't it be 'swept'? Or 'sweeps'? Otherwise...I likey this verb use.
"sorrow that spirits close impart"
Ooh. This entire thing is poetic.
"abode"
What an utterly pretentious and great word.
"surrendered shadowed fear"
Dark and eerie.
You know...for form poetry, it didn't feel like form poetry...BUT DON'T YOU DARE CONVERT ON ME PERMANENTLY!!!!!
I tried 2 haikus before, and wanted to kick everybody in my vicinity. =D But kudos to you for facing your fear of form poetry and doing a really really non-crap first attempt!!
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Cheers dude! Don't you worry.. I won't convert completely!
I get ya on the 'sweeps' bit.. but I'm trying to ask the moonlight to come sweep over my skin.. hmm.. I don't think I'm making sense at all!! But then I've been awake for 3 days
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Energy drink + morphine + sofa/bed/sofa bed...That's what you need.
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OH this is lovely Jacks! A stellar first attempt at form! I see cricketjeff is converting you...I think he goes around sprinkling form dust on people lol: he converted me I loved this!
~Pt
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Its beautiful!!
And such lovely form.
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Glad you liked it!
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Wonderful Prayer
to Grandmother Moon. As one who practices the red road of Native beliefs, I found many pleasing thoughts in your offering.
While I cannot speak to the form, I know this piece is in keeping with your prior work. Wonderful flow, and beautiful descriptive thoughts therein.
Niaish for sharing,
Silent Hawk
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Wow Beats head against wall this is great im not good at form poetry but I am going to try to write something for your contest tomorrow lol This is great and you did well from what I seen of this form
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lol Can you win your own contest I love this, it is soft and lilting and see I knew jeff would get you to the dark side Well done kiwi sis in law of mine C
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Yayyyy glad you like it sis in law!! I sweated over it!
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