You want your friendships to fall to ruins?
Then must we start this silly game of chess?
Trick me with your Knights A. K. A. Bruins.
And now all your Pawns' blood lay a mess,
For no care to my Queen's secret caress.
Bishops travel opp'site sides of the screen,
To let our Rooks fly away and molest.
A Pawn switches ends to bring forth a Queen,
To destroy the best Piece within the scene.
Each Piece taken brings you closer to death.
As each Piece dies they fall to the ravine.
The King must die during his final breath.
Now I must defeat you, you are the King,
Just so my large Queen has her song to sing.
Author notes
Anybody got ideas for a title, this title fits nicely but I think there is a better one.
While reading this poem - http://oldpoetry.com/opoem/58630-Charles-Hanson-Towne-A-Broken-Friendship - I was reminded of mine.
Written in sonnet form. A Spenserian Sonnet to be exact. Sonnet does have a rhyme scheme it is just an odd one.
Definitions: [Definitions of how they are used in poem]
Bruins - Bear like animal, anything such as that. [I used Bruin as a Knight for the rhyme but also because a Knight can mean a man that rides on top of an animal. Any animal, and yes in some wars way back when men rode atop bears.]
screen - a covering that serves to conceal or shelter something, in this case a covering on a wood chess board to keep it from being damaged.
Molest - to attack
Ravine - A long deep hollow in the earth's surface, or deep pit.
You may have noticed that some words are capitalized when they don't have to be, but that is for effect and emphasis on things to be noticed when reading the poem. Hopefully you can notice at least one message. ^^
This sonnet's rhyme scheme goes as follows:
a b a b b c b c c d c d e e
A contest entry
- Rhyme - Sonnet, Villanelle, or Pantoum only. by ecrivain01.
450 points, ended July 31, 2008, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Random Old Poetry by ea.
500 points, ended July 23, 2008, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Rhyme and Flow part 9 Feelings - 50,000 points series by cricketjeff.
4000 points, ended September 7, 2008, 48 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Why Not? by Hebz.
395 points, ended August 24, 2008, 54 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
-
Thank you for your entry in the contest. An interesting sonnet with good imagery and metaphor and a joy to read.
All the best at judging
Sue and Jeff
-
wow, very good! As someone who is married to a game enthusiast, I have a special appreciation for your poem. The sonnet by Charles Hanson Towne I also enjoyed reading. I was not familiar with his work and thank you very much for bringing him to my attention - that is exactly why I am running this contest. I think it's cool that you are interested in the old forms and the old game.
-
-
Thank you very much for the comment and I am very grateful that you enjoyed reading my poem. I also loved reading Towne's sonnet. I am not familiar with many older poems or poets which is why I would love to read as many as I can from as many different kinds of people. I also love a great game of chess. It's very challenging I love playing it even if I'm not so good as a players. ^^"""
-
-
great, I hope you will take a look at the other entries in the contest and what old poems they randomed, in that case. Have fun!
-
-
Oh I shall I shall. ^^
-
-
-
-
A valiant effort !
I like how you carried your mataphore all the way to game's end.
I'd suggest "and...Checkmate!" for a title, but I do very much like "EA's" suggestion: "Patzer"! That is a new term for me, but being a pathetic chess player I think it is one I shall have to remember.
-
-
Thank you very much. I think I shall change it to Checkmate or something of the sort soon. Unless someone comes up with a remarkable title.
-
-
Well, I still vote for "EA's" idea!
-
-
-
A title?
I'd suggest "Checkmate".
Thanks for entering and good luck with your writing in the future.
-
-
That's a great suggestion, I don't know which to choose. Our Game of Life I like because it's like a pun, as in "Life" the board game and our "Life." But checkmate would fit nicely. I'll have to think about it.
-
-
why don't you call it Patzer - that means like an incompetent chess player. I know that is a little on the humorous side, but it is arresting.
-
-
Thank you for the suggestion, but that title doesn't seem to be like the idea for a title i had in mind. I know it's a difficult one to think about. But again thank you.
-
-
This was interesting... so different than what I usually read. :3 But I loved it anyway! It was so different, yet so I dunno. I like it sometimes when poems rhyme... the title ish the big thing eh? That ish hard... I can't even think of a title ._. eek... keep on writing my random fox lover!
xXDCXx
-
i wanna say ...i'd give the title...The Games We Played...
or Lets Play...idk...this is pretty difficult lol
good poem....gotta love it
Adding your comment:
1 - 14 of 14
