Humbleness is overrated,
knocked down off a perch
hiding in crowds, while lost in daydreams,
reciting the importance of self worth
Batting eyes, little white lies,
turning so black and blue,
caught between a cascade of cliches,
whatever will you do?
The world will still be here,
nothing will ever change
might as well make the best of it,
from the mundane, to the strange
Take a deep breath,
pause and reflect,
no need to pointlessly bawl,
persevere, learn to crawl...
Author notes
13- learn to crawl- assigned title
written 7/16/08
A contest entry
- Titles: Lucky Dip by I-Am-Custard.
800 points, ended August 23, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
please leave comments,I appreciate the feedback
Comments
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Your take on the prompt was really good. I thought your last stanza was really effective and tied in the title really well. I thought the lines:
"Batting eyes, little white lies,
turning so black and blue"
The use of colour in the both lines and the contrast was really strong.
Great Work x
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i too, do not favor rhyme but your always takes me in... and the learn to crawl prompt was a perfect springboard for your work here... GREAT!!!!
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As a rule I dislike rhyming poetry, but I like this, it's not too strict, and thus seems a lot less forced than most poems. I like that this is upbeat as well, I know for a fact that many poets on this site would have made this a poem about abuse or something, so that's another point in your favour. Thank you for entering, if the other entries are of this standard this contest could get very interesting.
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