Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Pieces of Panic

I'll still feel the burning of Failure even in my grave,
I know the stabs of Perfection so I begin to decay.

And if the darkness of Fear will defeat my gain,
then you may as well kill me while my hopes still remain.

Underneath my veneer of compassion hides a suffering soul,
and in my heart a burning anger slowly taking its toll.

I feel the pale chill of Death as he suffocates the light,
through the pieces of panic from losing you in my life.

Below the surface of your feigned affection lies a festering fear,
fed by the resonating hate from every word that you hear.

You bled me dry until I had nothing left,
and now I'm stuck in this nightmare. . . of our perpetual death.

A contest entry

what do you like or not like about it?

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 6 of 6
  • piccola silver member
    March 9
    Edit | Reply
    congratulations on the silver and thank you so much for entering the contest.


  • Danna Hobart
    October 6, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I am sorry, but this is what I would consider pedestrian rhyme. Your meter is all over the place.


  • whispernthedark Greeters member
    September 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    The burning of failure... man so potent... thank you for entering the contest... good luck

    ♥
    whisper


  • reckless abandon
    August 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Ah, I really liked reading this, and the last lines were amazing, perfect to end the poem. THanks for entering and good luck!


  • Good Mourning Moon
    July 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I think this is really beautiful. It's dark and lonely, relatable but totally unique and also mysterious. Very inventive


  • SageyBaby
    July 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this is sort of dark take on the contest and i stragley like it. It made me sad, made me feel as if someone is alone, living a lie, suffering inside. welldone and good luck in the contest

1 - 6 of 6