There was a time
before this, my love
When life was good
When you and I
would dress
for some function or other
All of them made more special
by our fine feathers
When you left
the feathers were packed away
and I wore black
Crow, raven and rook
asleep in a craggy nook
Time to awake
To face the sun
To shake off the dust
To don the lush plumage
To search for the mate
I will soar to the skies again
in a blaze of colour
that outdoes the rainbow
Look my love
See me fly
A contest entry
- emotions needed. by etoile.
450 points, ended July 23, 2008, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - CONTEST : "WINGS OF COMPASSION IN TIMES OF GRIEF" by maa by maa.
2221 points, ended August 26, 2008, 41 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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wow, what a powerful verse ...
goosbumping all over ...
I truly love your metaphors about the rainbow-plumes and the black raven-feathers, I'm a big birdie-lover, you know ?
this poem truly has hit the target in every way, and even if the time for grief is not over yet, your colorful perspective of healing and joy is very seducing and recomforting ...
thank you so much for this precious poetic gem,
maa


-
i like this.
the ending wasn't very strong though ...
it seemed quite cliche at the end
i love the second last stanza. -
Welcome to Allpoetry
Wow.. this is very sad. I can see how you are saying there was such love and you had such an amazing life with your love and then they were gone.. and you couldn't fly the same anymore.
Very effective.
Welcome to Allpoetry, I hope that you enjoy the site
Miss Faerie
Site Greeter -
i think this would flow better if you added some punctuation, and you had one rhyming stanza in there; which threw me off because the rest of the poem didn't rhyme. but otherwise i liked it
I will soar to the skies again
in a blaze of colour
that outdoes the rainbow
---
especially that stanza, it was beautiful
thanks and goodluck
-
Very poignant
A bereaved soul coming out of the tunnel into the light. Excellent.
1 - 5 of 5




