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Meager Majesty

Missing image
Twas a bane befelled majesty~
fleeting glory Sun failed to see
Angel born blue to arms of night,
wings seeking dew within first light.

But Rufous-tail roamed dawning sky
preying upon souls innocent,
quick force not fooled by mimicry
left morn to whisper flight's lament.


Author notes

Prompt: Pittance of Time in sixteen lines or less

Form: Reversed Rispetto

Image credit: "Blue" by Josef Reichvilser

Rufous-tailed jacamars, are well-known butterfly predators.
the intention of mimicry is to draw attention to yourself.
This is usually achieved, but not always, by advertising
your presence with bright colours and is known as "aposematism".

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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • cricketjeff gold member
    July 22

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    Deliciously beautiful poetry and beautifully delicious take on the prompt.

    Great stuff

    Jeff


  • Mirthryl
    July 22

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    Beautiful word choices, "Twas a bane befelled majesty," as though a tale presented by a troubadour. Lovely "Angel born blue to arms of night." Poignant "left morn to whisper flight's lament."
    Title sets reader to contemplate that majesty in title, or of beauty, or tenderness disguised in the garb of warning does not always suffice to protect one's self. Predators roam, watchful for prey.

    Wisdom, so often the fruit of experience, is sometimes deemed unnecessary by the young, who venture flight 'because they can' unaware of watchful, hungry disaster. In a pittance of time, a single line of countless generations and adaptations of the past may be rended from possible futures.
    This reminded me of a car of our high-schoolers on a prom night that didn't stop at a stop sign on a railroad track; all four were killed instantly.

    A form with which I am unfamiliar, nicely applied to this write. Excellent author notes.


  • R S Adams Jr silver member
    July 19

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    well done...a wonderful poem.

    You have many comments below which I can only repeat. This is a brilliant poem and you have outdone yourself.

  • Once again you blind me with brilliant imagery..
    I just adore the magic of this write..
    You give such incredible life to such an amazing creature....
    Many blessings
    ~A~


  • Winklings gold member
    July 16

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    Rispetti are interesting lyrics.

    You show much 'respect' to your subject in this reverse-rhymed rispetto.
    "bane befelled" indeed! "Fleeting glory" tells the story!

    There seems an essential tension between the natural world Tennyson called "nature red in tooth and claw" and the human mind's perception of beauty and beauty lost, ephemerally. You have dealt with this tension beautifully.
    Your octosyllabics address the poetic line well.
    Fine marriage of form and poetry, poet!


    • Blue Rew silver member
      July 17
      Edit | Reply
      Delighted to have your perspective on my little write!
      Tennyson happens to be highly regarded by me (I've
      used his quotes in several themes), so to see his words
      come to mind upon reading mine is indeed an honor.
      Another excellent form Pam introduced me to and I am
      happy to hear you feel it is done well in reverse.
  • I like this. let me read it again........yea, your notes fill in the poem. I like the form and the content.

1 - 7 of 7