The old ship navigates the dark, stormy sea
With tempestous waves, roiled and frothy.
Whirlpools wait to suck the ship down under.
Winds tug sail stitches pulling them asunder.
Castaways marooned on a rocky shore.
Mere crumbs in their pockets, nothing more.
No water at all, not one single sip
Cases of Rhine wine were still on the ship.
Just offshore, on the shoals reef, beyond our reach;
Essence of grape, denied those on the beach.
It kept our morose minds well occupied
From when we made landfall ‘til the last one died.
Author notes
Word bank prompt: Use at least 7 out of 15 words. Words used - Navigate, tempest, stitches, case, maroon, occupy, symbol, grape, essence.
The shipwreck is a metaphor for life.
A contest entry
- . by aanika-xox.
506 points, ended July 25, 6 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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ooh i really liked the metaphor in this!
nicely written.
i dont really have anything else to say.. Aanika already said it haha. -
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Thanks alot. I am glad you enjoyed the poem. The comments are much appreciated.
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i really enjoyed this!
you integrated the words flawlessly and the rhyming wasn't forced.
i also appreciate the metaphor.
good luck -
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I think as a judge you may run your contest as you see fit including changing the rules afterwards. I believe it is ridiculous to leave a comment like you did here and then say that there was only one poem that was worth judging. It would have been more honest to tell me the poem sucked or was not your style.
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Thank you. I am glad you enjoyed the poem.
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Wow
Great sea angry tale.
I was touched with a sense of discomfort.
I could smell the ocean...feel the sand...feel the pain of hunger...thirst.
Yeah this was very well written.
wolf
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I am kind of uncomfortable with things at the moment. So this is the kind of stuff that comes out.
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I was JUST about to say, I bet this is a metaphor for life or love or death or something, lol. Then I saw it in your notes XD
Loved this. I pictured it very vividly.
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Thanks. It is kind of the way my life is going at the moment.
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I dig the way this operates on different levels' first as a fine narrative, and second, as a cooly metaphorical look at a larger world, the one we're all living in. This ship is going down, and we're all destined to be castaways.
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Thanks. I enjoyed the word bank. They take me in unexpected directions sometimes. This was kind of a metaphor on my view of my life yesterday.
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Absolutely wonderful piece of poetry. I love your metaphor for life..sure seems it is indeed alot of times a shipwreck. Great write Mike..best of luck in the contest!
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Thanks. I like wordbanks. To me, they are like starting with a chunk of wood and carving what you see in the wood.
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