Dear storiesuntold,
I only wished for a friend to understand me,
someone who I could go to and talk about anything,
who would listen, and just be there.
But my problems are too hard to handle.
So I keep them locked inside my mind,
with walls around to protect myself and others.
No one can get through unless I let them,
and even then, sad to say, its not much they find
because I don't want to lose another friend again.
Not like before.
I lost my best friend for two years
because of my problems and always talking to her.
So I started keeping my mouth shut.
But that didn't help much because I lost control
for keeping everything bottled up.
I ended up in and out of psychiatric hospitals,
for two years I was medicated on and off,
my mood swings we're terrible, and still are sometimes.
No one was really there for me to talk to.
I lost friends when I got kicked out of my school,
but I made new one's at Level 5.
Still I didn't talk much there to anyone.
My therapist was a great person and
once in a while I would open up my mind to him.
But when it got to certain parts,
about abuse in the past and my
Self-Destructive habits, I would shut down.
I trusted no one with my secrets.
I didn't want to get hurt again, or hurt someone else.
There is one person I trust more than anyone
and I can talk to him about most things.
But I am leary on trusting him with all of my secrets
only because I am scared of losing his friendship.
My self-destructive habits make friendships
hard to find and even harder to keep.
Thats why I never tell people about that part of my past.
Too many people in the world judge others
unfairly these days.
The abuse in my past has taught me that much,
and the way people treat me sometimes
for certain things I do to myself.
It's unfair because they don't know the real me.
-Kaela
Silver trophy winner
Adding your comment:
I understand this. I'm sorry that this has happened. You are wonderful no matter what has happened or will happen. I love you so much and I will always stick by you no matter what. I'm glad that are in my life. This brought me to tears. 
