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It’s 4am

 

 

 

The hiss and hum of traffic, periodic

with quiet interludes, sets the mood

in a lazy cul-de-sac tucked away

at the edge

 

of urban sprawl, with dark mountains

that contrast against an eastern summer sky,

slowly putting on dawns glow,

like an old man might

 

pull on his pants, with careful thought

as cool air delivers dew

with gentle precision, leaving

moisture to its business

 

of placing damp kisses

on nature’s inhabitants until

the sun dutifully wakes

with its warm and caring hug.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In a list

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 12 of 12
  • Broken-Bones
    August 21, 2008

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    I loved your description here, you create some lovely images and everything that you lay out is really easy to imagine. I liked the disjointed structure and I partcularly loved the lines:
    "slowly putting on dawns glow,
    like an old man might
    pull on his pants, with careful thought"
    I thought that was a marvellous similie. Wonderful Work x


  • fortyninereasons gold member
    August 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    you have captured a new day dawning precisely.
    Love
    Juls


  • LaylaLace
    August 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is a very different outlook on sleeplessness...yet it goes very well.
    Good luck in the contest!


  • Crazy Coconut
    August 4, 2008

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    I love the idea of placing damp kisses on nature's inhabitants...this just was beautiful all the way through, what a beautiful view out your window congratulations on the bronze


  • Avendesora Dreamer
    July 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow...your muse is really keeping you up, isn't she? Well, it may be exhausting for you, but I am (selfishly) glad, because I just got to see the sunrise, through your eyes, without having to be awake that long! Of course, now I wish I did have it in me to be awake that long...I have gotten up at sunrise, but I dont think that counts

    Good luck in the contest!


  • BellaD
    July 23, 2008

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    Lovely poem. Like the alliteration, hiss and hum, in the first line and the personification throughout. I know I'm being lazy, but in line 11 did you mean precision? or do I have to go get the Webster's 11th edition off the top shelf? Thank you for this very beautiful entry.


  • adsaige
    July 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    so beautiful. i am sometimes
    jealous of your writings and
    wish i could write as well
    as you often do.

    regardless a beautiful piece.


  • tara wilson gold member
    July 16, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    very beautiful, Micheal


  • Nature Song silver member
    July 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Slowly he awakens to the quiet mornings hum, nature is awakening...to her own silent drum! Lovely poem ~Sie


  • luna-midnight gold member
    July 16, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    awww this is gorgeous dad, good luck in the contest, and take care
    stephanie ♥


  • Margaret Denham gold member
    July 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Your poems about summer warm me while I sit here in the grip of winter and you make even the mundane sound interesting. The warm hug of the sun would be so nice right now.

    Best wishes in the contest dear.

    Love Margaret

1 - 12 of 12