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Beside The Sea

Missing image

 

 

 

A morning mist upon the sea
the sun has yet to show her face
while boats are tethered to the quay,
a peaceful place.

The fishermen have long set sail
upon the early morning tide,
to beat the sea, they must prevail,
on oceans wide.

Lean back against the quayside wall
while gulls are wheeling overhead
and listen to their plaintive call,
‘please throw some bread.’

The mist dissolves and rolls away,
grey clouds now breaking, free the sun,
the promise of a clear warm day,
now see the fun.

Let’s grab a blanket, find the beach
and walk upon the golden sand,
discover all our dreams in reach,
please take my hand.

 

 

 

 






 

Author notes

A sapphic ode (Alexander Pope style). Ode form means repeating stanzas of the same rhyme and meter, Sapphic relate to three long and one half length line.

Rhyme scheme abab, each stanza. Syllable count,8,8,8,4.

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 13 of 13
  • Annorlunda
    November 18

    Edit | Reply
    This is the second one of these that i've read in a row , and I just think the structure is fabulous. You managed to fit everything in very well and executed it magnificently.


  • whispernthedark Greeters member
    September 13, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    great write, best of luck
    &Hearts;
    whisper


  • Nicada silver member
    August 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    You have used some beautiful imagery in this poem that puts the reader right there on the beach. A very soothing and peaceful write with nice form used. Thanks for entering my contest. Blessings, Patty


  • nilav
    July 21, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    walk upon the golden beach,discovering all our dreams seems possible with your words..beautiful..


  • kiwigirljacks gold member
    July 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Found this an uplifting write as if I was at the seaside watching the goings on!! Some great imagery going on in there too!! It is so descriptive and makes me feel that you must enjoy this environment a lot!

    I thought during this process of commenting/judging I would pick something from each entrants write and use it to do a verse of my own trying the Form, and pop it into my comments... but I'm afraid I'm confused by the whole di DUM thing...

    So although I got the syllable counts down.. I didn't know where to go from there lol.. so I shaln't be including it in my comment... even tho I had fun writing it.
    -------
    Note: I'm updating this comment lol.. I thought I would put the wee write in I did even tho the flow is off a bit.. which I think is the di DUM thing..

    Sea Shining

    The sun has kissed the waters rim,
    Waves lap longing strokes in wonder
    A seagull sighs, he takes a swim
    Dips, dives under

    The fishes dance in deep delight
    Seaweed glide soft to subtle sound
    Jellyfish are jiggling at the sight
    Bliss all around

    While we lie on the opaque sand
    being warmed, our hearts combining
    Our bodies pressing in demand
    Love’s light shining

    So..That's my first attempt at the form!
    --------
    Thank you for entering this lovely write. The content and the form are both fab! Really enjoyed this write so much!!!


  • Cannonsfire
    July 16, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful imagery in this form and strongly written. Love, C


  • DeGraw
    July 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Great work!

    I love the water. I used to go sailing every weekend with my family this poem reminded me of it! Very nice!
    Regards,
    Jennifer


  • moonbumps silver member
    July 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Hang on while I grab me blanket!
    Smashing read and a subject I love-seaside...Love it.
    xxx Love you-xxx


  • Pamela A Lamppa silver member
    July 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Bravo!

    Ahhhhhhhh Sapphic Ode AND the Sea? I am melting. Absolutely wonderful. Thank you so much for sharing this with me. I MUST try my hand at another soon. This is pure perfection. ~Pamela


  • Wandering Woodchuck silver member
    July 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I liked this poem alot. It has nice imagery. My favorite lines were:

    while gulls are wheeling overhead
    and listen to their plaintive call,
    ‘please throw some bread.’

    I always wondered what those gulls were saing.


  • Amera gold member
    July 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Very impressive! I love this and you did a truly amazing job on the Pope style meter. (I know who will love this) The imagery in this poem is truly lovely.

    Love,
    Amera♥


  • Thomas Scott gold member
    July 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    So fine.

    This is a favorite. The pay off, "please take my hand," just does it.

    Thanks, Sue.

    Tom


  • ceegeeess
    July 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    sea side dreams!

    discover all our dreams in reach,
    please take my hand." The sand of the sea warm, The colorful velvety blanket invigorating love,Intertwining fingers talking of sweet memories,sea winds stand witness to our love everlasting!sweet Sue, thank you for sharing such sweet poem!


1 - 13 of 13