The Moon looks down as we look up
To see her rule the sky
We'll toast her from a silver cup
And ask her how to fly
She sees the world from up above
And smiles at what she sees
Her light ignites our thoughts of love
And puts us at our ease
The flowers in her silver glow
Are not a patch on you
The beauty in the smile you show
Has told me what to do
I take you in my arms to kiss
And feel you on my lips
There's never been a warmth like this
Except where moonlight drips
It seems this kiss could last for years
But we need something more
Somehow our clothing disappears
To let our spirits soar
And all your skin sets me on fire
You sigh your joy aloud
The modest Moon sees our desire
And slips behind a cloud.
Author notes
If you want a beautiful simple and time honoured form, this is for you. It is called Ballad Measure (or sometimes English Hymn Measure).
It is older than Shakespeare and almost every decent poet (and millions of not so decent ones!) for a thousand years has written in it from time to time.
The dreaded rules!
Strictly speaking, and mine here is pretty strict, it is in alternating iambic tetrameter and termeter. Forget those names!
Think eight syllable and six syllable lines. Each line with a di-DUM di-DUM beat.
The eight syllable lines either rhyme with each other or don't, the six syllable lines rhyme. Clever poets throw in internal rhymes and alliterations and all the fireworks they can find, doesn't matter the simplest ballads can be the most beautiful. They can be as short as eight lines or last for years.
Do please have a go at it!
Oh and if you would prefer another sonnet for this contest just let me know and I'll see if I can find you one bouncing around inside my head
In a list
A contest entry
- Form Poetry Pretty Please !!.......... by kiwigirljacks.
950 points, ended July 25, 14 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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This is proof that it can all be said without the pomp of complicated wording. The meaning is pure and sweet! Congratulations on the silver!
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Ahhh ... simplicity is sometimes the best teacher ... easy to see the di DUMs .. Pretty to please ... moon drips and all ...
I need to practice with this form I think ...
You'll probably receive a headache from mine ... ughm. heheh Best of luck Jeff ..!
Steve
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lovely form for a lovely poem !might even try the form..enjoyed reading this poem, such lovely metaphor of moon!
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An absolutely lovely poem! and, yes, this form IS most potent and is not used often enough... great poem! bravo... bravo... bravo...
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Blissful-
xxx Bumpy
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Even without the rules and such, this is such a beautiful poem. Simple, elegant and lovely to read. The visuals on this piece are beyond compare.
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Beautifully penned. I have never come across this form before but you have done a wonderful job, and made it look so easy! I'm so pleased I read this as you AN cleared up some confusion I had with iambic tetrameter, your explanation has cleared it up, so thank you
Good luck in the contest 
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First of all.. that is just beautiful!! And so so romantic!! I adore the feeling in this write! Wow
The subject matter, feel and flow is just what I was looking for... I don't think you need to change this or enter another write unless of course you want to
From your explanation in your ANs I think you're spot on with the form (I laugh to myself as I say that like I'm some authority on it pahaha).. but yes, it seems perfect!
I love the Form you choose! And I had this brilliantly stupid idea that when I comment on the writes I would pop a wee verse in trying out the form... please be gentle when you read it! lol.. as you talked about the Moon I thought I would too.. but I have tried to use my own style and personality in it too.. ok, it doesn't have the wonderful flow yours has lol.. possibly because I keep my writes sometimes slightly abstract and guarded as they are always of a personal nature... and I've done the syllable count but could still be off.. lol..anyway.. here goes... eeeek!!
Moon Prayer
Sweet hallowed light of tender hue
sweep over wistful skin
This weary soul to shine anew
a gentle glow within
Pray stillness in a heavy heart
that often bears the load,
sorrow that spirits close impart
Their safe and calm abode
Please strength infuse in fragile flesh
that fades with daily ache
Send radiant warmth to refresh
and vigor to awake
So that's my first attempt and done somewhat quickly.. but hey.. I gave it a shot.
Back to your write.. can I say again it's just lovely?.. it is! Thank you for this entry!!
I love this form!
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I heard the organ
Comforting form and you showed it at its best.
Luvit.
Tom
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lol ok I bow to the superior intellect here and I read it out loud and it sounds pretty damn perfect to me but eh LOL what would I know. As for the story in it, I loved that because it is so softly beautiful and graceful so you got me at the first word!!!
Love, C
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