rain is the silent spectre
when the words don't come,
you are not standing in the doorway
heaven is blocked
by some crazy light show
or dizzy blond with high heels
I'm like a fish
who swam out of your ocean,
learning to walk
when you weren't really there
I'm not here
I don't feel rain
or have skin
scales,
what you scrape off
when you step outside
I want to be deciduous
see my leaves shed themselves
to curl around your evergreen
as moss clings to dead things
needier than what you have
hungrier than she will ever be
What did you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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Being the 'also ran' is a natural state for me. So when I say I can relate to this one it's from experience.
Sincerely,
Leo Long
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Well done!
I love the sharp contrast between the nature images and the dizzy blond with high heels...It grabbed my attention. I see the "other woman" as a force of nature, which is very interesting.
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Thanks, I wanted her to appear strong in force if not in love, maybe that's how I picture her lol although I don't really know her at all. Love, C
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This is written very well, and the imagery you have used is amazing. "I want to be deciduous
see my leaves shed themselves
to curl around your evergreen" I especially love that stanza. Nice write! Blessings, Patty
. Rewarded 4
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I liked your poem.Very thought out. Great job thanks for sharing!
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Luvit.
"I want to be deciduous
see my leaves shed themselves
to curl around your evergreen"
Sometimes things go and come back, like tides.
Tom
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"rain is the silent spectre
when the words don't come,"
Elegant imagery.
"you are not standing in the doorway"
This could mean a helluva lotta things..
"heaven is blocked
by some crazy light show
or dizzy blond with high heels"
I LOVE THIS!!!
It's cynical, witty and oh-so-much-fun!!!
"I want to be deciduous
see my leaves shed themselves
to curl around your evergreen"
Ooh...wonderful, WONDERFUL use of the word 'deciduous'. (:
"as moss clings to dead things"
A little morbid...but that's why I love it!!
That last stanza...sounds like some f-ed up love to me.
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Not fed up just frustrated sigh
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Those aren't mutually exclusive, are they?
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lol No, just wondering how he is doing in the light of my stupidity
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There's a life outside of love (: said the young cynic..
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You are good for me you know lol...
You are my sanity at the moment and now I want to slap myself and go hug a tree lol or do something and stop thinking cos he's a big boy lol
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Do that. (: Or uhhm, bake me virtual cupcakes!!
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no good at baking!
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