Image Credit: Roses at RWGraphics
It is within soft contours
that my fingers tremble,
fearfully chromatic
at the thought of pushing hues
to lavenders
and pinks.
Eyes search eyes
lingering in richer layers
of muted browns cast with gilded gold
finding places where I too
reveal petals
to the richest reds.
Author notes
Prompt: Yellow
50 words or less
46 words
A contest entry
- Yellow by AliceinPoetryLand.
950 points, ended July 16, 2008, 12 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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In my opinion "gilded gold" would have been a startling choice of words; as a deliberate tautology it would have drawn the eye, and would have recalled the proverb about "painting the lily, and gilding solid gold". It would have spoken of excess, and would have contrasted with "muted browns". But if you did not mean to startle the reader, then "gilded grace" is a sotto voce alternative which works.
I like the use of the word "chromatic", which has musical connotations as well as pertaining to colour.
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Vozhd
Now that is funny. I originally had used gilded gold and changed it at the suggestion of another poet I have respect for.
Thank you. I may just have to go back to my original of 'gilded gold' upon reading your commentary.
Thank you. ~Pamela 
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Yes, I saw that from the comments below. You are allowed to play with language and break rules - you are a poet, and people can surely see that, in your case, it is artistry not ignorance.
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Very good imagery with this write. A lot of vivid colors. Thanks for sharing and congrats on the bronze.
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ckwriter69
Thank you so much. I did enjoy writing this one and am so pleased you enjoyed it as well. Thank you again. ~Pamela 
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"gilded gold" is redundant phrasing as "gild" is the verb for gold and here would
mean "to enhance with gold" .
That is, to enhance gold with gold. We would not say, "silvered silver" in like context. How say you?
http://allpoetry.com/poem/4428871#
Alliteratively, all I can now think of is "glinting gold".
Ron. -
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You are right. I have updated to gilded grace.
It keeps my alliteration but does not take away from the meaning. Thoughts?
~Pamela
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This is beautifully written in wonderful rhythm
The imagery is very vivid and paints a lovely picture.
These are some beautiful words"Eyes search eyes
lingering in richer layers of muted browns cast with gilded gold"Thanks for sharing and congradulations on your bronze
Tony
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Tony
Thank you so much for your kind words on this one. So pleased you enjoyed it. ~Pamela
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Another beauty!
Pam you just keep doing it to me! dagg, now I'll be useless muss for a few hours! l.o.l. great write my friend! p.s. the pic is beautiful also!
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Richard
Thank you so much. I am pleased you enjoyed this one. ~Pamela
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Very nice ...
and I love the roses.
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Jim
Thank you. ~Pam
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and so we search outside...
...and by pushing the right boundaries, we may find new extremities which lead us further. The colours are gradually becoming gold.
I love your metaphor of the colours and the chromatic fingers, which become lavender...while I prefer the richest reds! But, I am not a pinkie man.
How do you think of these comparisons? I do not know, but they are wonderful.
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Richard
Thank you so much. I actually did a comparison of he meanings of the various colors of roses and it took off from there.
I am pleased you enjoyed this one. Thank you.
P.S. I plan to listen to a wonderfully performed etude by Chopin tonight after work...
Thank you for that. ~Pamela
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Ah a veritable rich palette of appealing colorful language that brightens the soul, well done dear and all the best in the contest!
Love and peace always,
mj.
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mj
Thank you so much. I am pleased you enjoyed this one. Always a pleasure to read your thoughts on my work. Thanks again. ~Pamela
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Wow the flower's color itself as metaphor for a reticence to risk. I wish I could think of as many ways to describe beauty as you poet P.A.L.
Well at least bronze is a very safe color here.
Paul
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Paul
Thank you so much for understanding the progression here. I apprecaite it so much. So pleased you enjoyed this one. ~Pamela
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Yes a very richly woven piece here. Just loved it. Thanks so much for your entry
Gaylene
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Gaylene
Thank you so much for your lovely comment and the honor of bronze in your contest. I appreciate it so much. ~Pamela
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well done great pic too good luck
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DolphinLass
Thank you so much. I am pleased you enjoyed this. ~Pamela
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beautiful and rich. very well done.
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michael thomas
Thank you. ~Pamela
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