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Shallows




my head
said 'give'
heart said
take

lips
denied nothing
gave me all
I want




Author notes

give me back the nothing you took away from me


phew did it!

A contest entry

What did you think

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • leo2
    July 17

    Edit | Reply
    This one sort of zoomed over my head. Perhaps I'll catch it later today. Anyway, best of luck in the contest.

    Sincerely,
    Leo Long


  • apples fell gold member
    July 15

    Edit | Reply

    This is very different. I figured I'd hop over to your stuff before I get off to go to bed. I like the strangeness of the flow, it feels almost pounded out, like in a frustrated stunt. Unique tone to this piece. I am glad you found my contest so that I had the pleasure of finding your work.

    ;


  • Pure Thought silver member
    July 15
    Edit | Reply

    Bingo !

    Nailed it, right slam against the literary wall. POint on perfect.


  • markgrif gold member
    July 15
    Edit | Reply
    .


  • luna-midnight gold member
    July 15

    Edit | Reply
    you did it, and i liked it
    wonderful job and good luck
    take care
    stephanie ♥


  • markgrif gold member
    July 15
    Edit | Reply

  • breedluv silver member
    July 15

    Edit | Reply
    A very nice sentiment. You could make fifteen with this! Great take on the prompt and nice penning.


  • Carolina Moon silver member
    July 15
    Edit | Reply
    Great take on the prompt. Best of luck!

1 - 8 of 8