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The Poets Walk

 

The poet's walk

spills words of sage

discovers thoughts

upon the page

 

Spills words of sage

painting pictures

upon the page

sky-blue scriptures

 

 

Painting pictures

trees multi-hued

sky-blue scriptures

inspiring muse

 

 

Trees multi-hued

discovers thoughts

inspiring muse

the poet's walk

 

 

Author notes

Pantoum:

Four Quatrain Stanzas with four syllable lines

A Pantoum is a dreamy form of French poetry which with its utterly charming repetitions creates a magical form of poetry, which cant be replicated by any other form. The structure of a Pantoum is very simple.

It consists of series of quatrains rhyming ABAB in which the second and fourth lines of a quatrain recur as the first and third lines in the succeeding quatrain; each quatrain introduces a new second rhyme as BCBC, CDCD. The first line of the series recurs as the last line of the closing quatrain, and third line of the poem recurs as the second line of the closing quatrain, rhyming ZAZA.

You can go as many stanzas as you wish as long as the ending stanza then repeats the second and fourth lines of the previous stanza (as its first and third lines), and also repeats the third line of the first stanza, as its second line, and the first line of the first stanza as its fourth. So the first line of the poem is also the last.

This is the format for the last stanza regardless of how many stanzas you have. This is cast in stone as far as Pantoum goes

Line 2 of previous stanza
Line 3 of first stanza
Line 4 of previous stanza
Line 1 of first stanza

This is a poem which was forwarded to me by a friend and I fell in love with it. Here is an excerpt. You can find the whole poem at http://www.users.muohio.edu/finchar/criticism/waldman.html

Baby's Pantoum
by Anne Waldman for Reed Bye

I lie in my crib midday this is
unusual I don't sleep really
Mamma's sweeping or else boiling water for tea
Other sounds are creak of chair & floor, water
dripping on heater from laundry, cat licking itself
Unusual I don't sleep really
unless it's dark night everyone in bed
Other sounds are creak of chair & floor, water
dripping on heater from laundry, cat licking itself
& occasional peck on typewriter, peck on my cheek
Unless it's dark night everyone in bed
I'm wide awake hungry wet lonely thinking
occasional peck on typewriter, peck on my cheek
My brain cells grow, I get bigger
I'm wide awake wet lonely hungry thinking
Then Mamma pulls out breast, says "Milky?"
My brain cells grow, I get bigger
This is my first Christmas in the world
Mamma pulls out breast, says "Milky?"

http://www.boloji.com/poetry/learningzone/pkz16.htm

Tammy aka Little Feather

joined on March 26, 2004

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Comments

1 - 25 of 25

  • poetryality silver member
    August 27

    Edit | Reply
    The colors stand out in this writ. There is harmony, pleasure, a willingness to walk these word filled paths. Yes, yes...poets walk a different way and you have shared that with us with this wonderfully written Pantoum.

    Thank you so much for this entry in my contest and I wish you the very best.


    Much Love ♥

    Renee

  • Bramble - silver member
    August 9
    Edit | Reply
    A fresh pantoum nicely done and easily understood. A poet's walk... a good walk. ~Bramble

  • Sandra R Reynolds silver member
    August 9
    Edit | Reply
    Great write


  • Morningstar1948 gold member
    August 2
    Edit | Reply

    Yes Daughter Mother check in

    This is very well written. i llke the form you use. I rnjoy out conversation.
    love Mother


  • Kathleen a Nazarene
    August 1
    Edit | Reply

    Bandits United!

    Hoodwinked!!! Pressed the wrong dang key again before I commented! Hope I can leave my clappys! This is the first time I ever read this form of poetry & how lovely it was for me to read about the Poet's Walk! This is utterly beautiful & really calls to the Romanticist in me. I love your choice of words & how this form repeats as it does! The fact that you could follow this format & create such a wonderful flow is a testament to your skill as a poet! Bravo! Just in case I botched this again:
    Forgive me if I didn't give points. I have to remember to hit tab instead of enter before I leave a comment. I'm Brain Injured & when rushing...oh.....it's just plain hard for me to think most of the time!

  • Haiku-bless-you silver member
    July 31

    Edit | Reply

    HOODWINKED !!!

    What a beautiful Pantoum, good flow and depth of feeling with solid rhyme. This form takes a lot of work and patience and your efforts has paid off! Thank you for sharing this gem.

    You have been Hoodwinked by the Poetic Bandits today becaues WE CARE! Thank you for all you do here at AP, it is appreciated!

    Dennis


  • tawk gold member
    July 31

    Edit | Reply

    Hood-Winked!

    Yes a poet is an artist with a pen. What a wonderful and amazing write. Such vivid imagery and emotion throughout. I have never tried this form but I feel you did an amazing job with it. Good luck in the contests. Have a wonderful day I hope being Hood-Winked has brought a smile to your face. You are always bringing smiles to others thank you. Theresa


  • quantumsurveyor
    July 31

    Edit | Reply

    HOODWINKED

    This is a clever piece that uses words with economy yet has depth. Sadly, for me, I find that some form poetry somehow gets in the way of expression. My reaction is - "aah, that goes there does it, and t'other goes here, which is the next bit to go where?" The form therefore gets in the way rather than allowing full flow. Within the constraints this is done well and sounds well.

  • Polaja
    July 31

    Edit | Reply

    Hood-Winked!

    This is a stunning poem - the whole thing flows together well and the form is wonderfully done! I like the message behind the words here and the beautiful imagery that you have used to portray it to the reader I wish you the best in the contest with this marvelous piece!

    Keep writing

    Polly


  • Freed by Mercy silver member
    July 30

    Edit | Reply

    Hoodwinked!

    I like this poem and the form. It travels 36o degrees, ends where it begins. The second stanza I find a bit awkward, perhaps it is the line "painting pictures" that bothers me a bit. all in all, though, well done.

  • chiefmac
    July 27

    Edit | Reply
    What a lovely pantoum. The flow and mood moves through this work smoothly. The form fits the mood and is consistant. Well defined and moving.


  • grannyeri gold member
    July 22

    Edit | Reply
    Liked this form and the rhythm, rhyme and flow of this poem. Thought sentiments well expressed as well. Good topic chosen for this contest. Wishing you well.

  • davidbetzer
    July 17
    Edit | Reply
    I don't think the sage was used in large enough quantity to repulse the demon of poor quality. I find that people most often stick to the strictures of form in order to argue creative constraint. And, like a well analyzed chess ending, its all in the books. Painting the pieces, no matter how poorly, doesn't negate the fact that this poem is stale, mate.

    • Little Feather Greeters member
      July 17
      Edit | Reply

      I never argue

      creative constraint. Its an act of futility. And actually I find form allows for more creativity, because you really have to think of how you want to put words together and what pictures you want to create with them.

      So let me ask you. What about this poem makes it of poor quality. Is it the use of form itself, or the lack of imagery, or too much imagery, the rhyme scheme, the use of metaphor, or no metaphor, it the rhyme to pedestrian, too few syllables perhaps?

      God Bless
      Tammy
      • davidbetzer
        July 17
        Edit | Reply
        For those who wish for a more careful critique of their submissions, I ask only that you wait until after the contest, and I would be happy to study them in depth. Right now I am only having fun, so don't take it too much to heart. It is very easy to distinguish between gold and lead. At the moment I am not playing the alchemist, but the devil. I will return to you if you'd like, and spend more time in critical analysis, and less in trying to sound like an ass.

  • lindaburns
    July 17

    Edit | Reply

    I like the picture.

    “Painting pictures
    trees multi-hued
    sky-blue scriptures
    inspiring muse”
    Whatever it takes to inspire that all important muse.
    Vivid picture. Good work.


  • samm
    July 16
    Edit | Reply
    the process of poetry,
    this is really nice :]


  • suseann
    July 16

    Edit | Reply
    This fine composition expresses the factors attributing to inspire the poets muse.I noticed in reading that it is also a Pantoum form,and that is a challenging form indeed.Nice work.


  • DreamersLoft
    July 15

    Edit | Reply
    I thought at first that when I started reading this poem that it was too simple; the first stanza simply did not grab me. But once I had finished reading it, it has a certain quality about it that is fulfilling. I don't know that I like all of the phrases chosen or not, but the overall effect of the poem is, well, effective.

    I greatly appreciate that you took the time to test out a pantoum. I happen to adore this form of poetry, though I don't have any of my pantoums posted on AP as of yet. But it truly is refreshing to see a writer try something like this and be effective. Well done, and I hope to read more of your work soon.

    Take care,
    DreamersLoft :-)

    . Rewarded 8


  • pulsating
    July 15

    Edit | Reply
    hope you copied and pasted the authors notes. i like this poem, its a journey and just makes me think of a person walking thru nature exploring with no limitations

  • mcheadle
    July 15
    Edit | Reply

    We all should try something new

    just to see how it sits on the pallet. ...mac
  • mcheadle
    July 15
    Edit | Reply

    We all should try something new

    just to see how it sits on the pallet. ...mac


  • Xx Alice xX
    July 15

    Edit | Reply
    I nice clean to the point form, I like that. Amazing what a poet can say in so few words. And to keep to the form in such a flawless way is great. Well done.

  • NurseyPoo
    July 15
    Edit | Reply
    You did a great job with this form that is not easy to do. flawless as far as I can see. Pen on...


  • Elfin silver member
    July 15

    Edit | Reply
    I love the pantoum but haven't written any for a while now but thanks for sharing this lovely poemm The poet's walk has inspired me all over again. It's a pity it isn't in a contest because I think this could have been a winner. Val

    . Rewarded 4

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