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Chain of Blood

blood
black in the moonlight
shadows of life coursing
within their own plight

love
eternal struggles wane
beset the flowing joy
of an innocent vein

dreams
traveling out the ages
nightmares silenced
in history's pages

hopes
shattering desire
pulling from a lost soul
dragged to the fire

family
ageless, timeless, unknowns
mask the insipid taste
drained from their thrones

wishes
rising like a flood
renew flavor through feelings
within this chain of blood


In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 16 of 16

  • BearWoman gold member
    May 9

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    Wow! This is kind of chilling in a sensual way. Congrats on all the shiny things!


  • x7-rose-sorrows
    March 24
    Edit | Reply
    i like the flow, this is really good


  • Kathraina silver member
    February 5
    Edit | Reply
    Good write. I like the single word before each stanza. Good job! Thanks for entering and good luck!

    ♥ Kathraina

  • Kathraina silver member
    February 5

    Edit | Reply
    Good write. I like the single word before each stanza. Good job! Thanks for entering and good luck!

    ♥ Kathraina


  • Luckintheshadows
    August 24, 2008

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    I love this, your layout is excellent, I think having the first line of each stanza as a single word really adds emphasis to the remainder of the stanza. One thing I would change is in the third stanza: "histories" should be "history's" but this is just my humble opinion and the stanza works well either way All in all a wonderfully dark poem! Very well written, thanks for sharing this and taking the time to enter my contest,

    Luck.


  • Zane Rose
    August 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Very nicely written. I love the form of the poem. The image was beautiful.
    Thank you and Good luck!
    ~Allie~


  • Polaja Greeters member
    August 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I like that the form of this poem denotes a chain in itself, well done. Thank you for entering this contest just a note to ask you to check that you have followed the rules - I wish you the best of luck when it comes to judging!

    Keep writing

    Polly


  • Devilish Temptation
    August 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    WOW

    I like this very much loads of rhyming I love Rhyming poems. Oh dear this contest is going to be hard to judge.

    "love
    eternal struggles wane
    beset the flowing joy
    of an innocent vein"

    This verse speaks the most to me it's fantastic and very unique and so creative

    Your poem rocks

    Thankx for your entry and good luck in my contest


  • hazeleyedfreak
    July 31, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Creative

    I like how you used random, meaningful words like, love blood etc, and then wrote a couple lines about them. I think that was creative, Thank you for entering and Good Luck!


  • Poetic Obscenity
    July 24, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Aw. This has the most amazing rhyming and rhythem flow. Wonderful.

    Ty and GL


  • okadadokie
    July 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I really like this, not only does it breath vampire life(or undead) I like how you described the general ways and feelings of vampires. Great job.

    ~Oka/KC

  • Hovels 2
    July 21, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Every word pierced my eyes. Woah!

  • wendymolly
    July 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    insatiably hits the bloodeed and weak vein powerfully with the first bite. it is a wanting to come back for more. *very well written, expressed with the true darkness of origins. bleak. evil. and yet never enough blood to go around. I want to drink some blood! after reading such a great vamprish muse!
    take care and keep the ink!~ ~pithyAplomB.


  • Sanguinarius
    July 15, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Truly remarkable. Dark beauty drips from the very words upon this page. Best of luck to you ~Bret~

  • midnightblue1272
    July 15, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Whoa!

    Very deep words here, young poet. Dark, but pwerful. Good work.

1 - 16 of 16