Fat2

Slowly I unbutton my jeans
Pulling them down off my feet
Arms around my waist
I grab my shirt and pull it off
Standing in front of the mirror
I see stretch marks
I see fat
I'm disgusted
How did I let this happen?
I was so good
Eating little
Purging after a binge
Purging to help me sleep
Then one day I stopped
I stopped purging
But I kept binging
Now look I'm ugly
Why?
How can anyone look at me?
I tried exercising
But it only lasts so long
Then I get lazy
I can't help but eat junk
I wish I could cut out all of my fat
Just get rid of it
I want to do anything to be thin
Thin, such a beautiful word
I wish I was dead
If I was dead weight wouldn't matter
I hate mirrors
They show truth