I never knew what it felt like,
To want to cause pain.
I never knew what it felt like,
To want to see blood.
But now I know,
Thanks to you.
I never hurt this much before,
Thanks for showing me how.
I never cried this much before,
Until you came around.
You drove me crazy you know,
With those beautiful crystal eyes.
Now I wish you would just disappear,
Under the ground.
Author notes
1
A contest entry
- Pre-Write Extraganza No Limit by Poets Whisper.
900 points, ended February 16, 110 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ---gold takes it all- - - by The Demons Bride.
1003 points, ended February 28, 38 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ~ Shattered Heart? -- Time to Pick up the Pieces!! ~ by Still Standing.
2000 points, ended June 22, 34 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
I'm not sure if this is good it just popped out of my head. [Reward: double points]
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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I liked it and it was sad. I liked the idea of the other person making you feel as if you wanted to hurt people. Very nice idea and i'm sure many other people have felt the same way. Well done and keep writing. xo
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I like this because:
it moves from anger to sadness to lust as if to show perhaps not a progression but a deeper and deeper look as to the root cause of the emotion. One might call it a psychological poem because of this fact. Having said that, it is very direct, honest, and is devoid of imagery, which in this case- I think is effective since it is a poem about getting to the root cause of things. -
I like it...I think most people have at least one person that has made them feel this way at some point in life. You've done a wonderful job putting it into words that almost anyone can relate to.
. Rewarded 4
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Wow emotionally powerful stuff there!!
I can just feel the pain and emotion you've put into this spilling over the brim!!
Can I just make a suggestion?
The two times you say "I never" it should be "I've never."
Great job!!!
. Rewarded 4
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Dark and deep
I love this dark and deep entry you have here. I felt like this when I saw my ex yesterday and had to give him a piece of mail from a relative (after he already packed his crap and moved) it was in church and I saw red, I had to hurry and give it to him before I did something I regret...so I relate to this very much!
I never knew what it felt like,
To want to cause pain.
I never knew what it felt like,
To want to see blood.
Such a disgusting feeling but I know it...thanks to him! Thanks for entering and good luck!
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I can really relate to this. There are just some people that can hurt us more than others and that's because we have deep feelings for them making it possible for them to hurt us.
sad ... thanks for entering -
i like this, its so real for how alot of people feel.
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The emotion in this is brilliant. I was completely taken aback by how it made me feel. It seems to be kind of hidden on the outside but if you read carfully it's really got a lot of emotion there. Absolutly amazing write!!
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alot of emotion but very good maybe you should be writing songs as well
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I really liked this poem. It is eloquent and creates a great image, as such, of that feeling of utter loathing. I liked the last two lines the best. If I was you the only revision I would make is the line "thanks to you" I would probably make it "All thanks to you". But what you have works well too...keep up the good work
. Rewarded 6
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There's always that ONE person, who drives you to a certain point of hatred. Hate is a strong word, and there aren't many who have been on that list in my life, because I believe in forgivness, and whatnot... But, there is that one certain person I have felt I've hated, and wouldn't have minded to see them in a casket - I know the feeling, you just have to contain yourself and let nature and Karma do its work
Amber
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This had a lot of feeling in it. It was easy to feel the anger and the hurt. I loved the way you show that pain can change us from how we normally are. I loved the line "I never cried this much before" as I thought that really captured the emotions in the piece. Good work x
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this was really good and it gives you a very vivid image for every line.
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Humm..sharing the inside of the self here is indeed a curious thought by the poet with its intimacy of the truths for the readers..well done...
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Ah, beautifully written. "What It's Like" is the best title idea I can come up with.
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i loveed it !!!
i loved its darky goodness.
we needa hangoutt soon!
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Good job! I liked it and as a title maybe 'Thanks to You'?
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I will probably make that my title Thanks for the input =).
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