without you
I don't want the dawn to awaken me.
without you
I don't want the night to put me asleep.
without you
I don't want the sun to cover me
nor the rain to bathe me.
without you
I am absent.
I need you for every breath.
I need you for every thought.
I need you for every movement.
Glimpses of you pulsate me,
your presence is my present.
my happiness is made by you,
your life is made for me.
forever now.
Author notes
for my wife
A contest entry
- Free for all. by Ravensdark.
1050 points, ended July 27, 2008, 12 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Turn your Green Trophies into Bronze, Silver or Gold (4) by FloridaGatorQueen.
425 points, ended August 5, 2008, 29 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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i love love poems, theyre really hard to be good without being too mushy gooshy whatever lol, but i enjoyed this because it was good, there is nothing better than a good love poem.
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Incredible.
Wow. This is pretty much the sweetest thing ever. -
This is such a sweet poem. I am sure your loved one will enjoy this as much as I did.
Enjoyed the read! Thank you for entering my contest.
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Beautiful and heartfelt. great poem. thank you for entering and good luck.
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This was very beautiful! I enjoyed reading this poem. My favorite part was the first 4 lines. The attention grabber I think. Excellent work!
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oh my gosh...this makes me tear up and miss my love even more than i did the moment before, and i didnt think that was possible! I feel what you're saying and I agree "i dont want the sun to cover me nor the rain to bathe me" beautiful way to explore the exhiliterating poignant thing of giving your all to someone else...
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i love these lines:
Glimpses of you pulsate me,
your presence is my present.
this really hit hard and i can relate. good job.
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This reminds me of a poem called without you by adrian henri (I think) well it's definitely one of the Mersey poets. Really like the line 'glimpses of you pulsate me' that so evokes the feelings of the poetic voice towards its subject. Overall, this is an impressive write and deeply felt. Thanks for sharing.
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Hm. I definetly like the last line but something in the flow dosent seem to work for me. I dont know exactly what it is so maybe you should disregard this. I like the message though =]
Sorry this came out kind of negative I really actually liked it.
Anonymousxo -
beautiful
this is gorgeous. Your love for your wife seems to be bigger than the world itself!! well done. this is an awesome poem. I especially love the last stanza. I feel that it just somes up your love perfectly. well done!
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This write is a beautiful tribute to your wife. Your love for her shines through in your words. I hope you will share this with her as I am sure she will love it and feel special. Blessings, Patty
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This is sweet.
Whoever you made this for, I'm sure they'll be pleased with your writing.
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