Observances at the water park~
People packed into the kiddie pool,
hip to hip... shoulder to shoulder,
watching the kiddies splash,
hearing an endless “look what I can do!”
Worrying about the quality of water,
it was here that the great outbreak of sickness
was staged years ago from feces in the pool.
Old ladies with their grandchildren,
who have been through too many drive-throughs,
wearing old swim suits from twenty years ago
with the little skirt in front
that doesn’t hide or camouflage anything...
...smelling like sunblock
They are as much a threat to the quality of water
as the little ones in diapers.
Author notes
"Sometimes you just have to
pee in the sink..."
~Charles Bukowski~
A contest entry
- Smile While You're Writing That... by Dalaney.
750 points, ended July 28, 2008, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Well done!
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Oh my goodness
I so hope they all use the red die to turn red if anyone urinates in the pool for all our safety good write here
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oh my gosh, this is scary and probably true... I remember hearing of a chemical that could be added to pools that would turn the water red in the presence of urine and wondered why all pools don't do it but now I know.
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a good poem, ah water and the release of ourselves - i guess we all think we can get away with peeing in the pool that's why they brought that colour thing in lol if you do a purples stream surrounds you.
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Excellent Contest entry--Well versed with the imagery at its best--Love the last 2 lines
"They are as much a threat to the quality of water
as the little ones in diapers.
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How did you know I still had that old suit?! Sunblock is my primary scent, and my daughter comments on the smell regularly. Is it the grandmas' sunblock that threatens the water quality, or the idea that Depends may be working on a 'swim diaper'? Nowadays the smell of chlorine from the pool is enough to clear the sinuses!
Very nice seasonal, current-events write. Those water-borne illnesses are serious bad stuff!
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My grandson and I went to white water yesterday. I mused as to what people might see as they observed us. I am so white from not being in the sun, I had to constantly apply sunblock, while he was doing the look at what I can do thing. Hilarious! I didn't smell any chlorine at all, which is why I worried.
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Oh my! This is not what I expected at all from reading the title and the first line. What a fantastic take on the prompt and so very original. You successfully convinced me to stay out of public pools. Well done!
Love,
Amera♥
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leaky diapers are dangerous! all we can do is hope that the chemicals will take care of the bacteria..it's scary!
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What a keen introspection my dear! A most pensive penning that transported me to such a place, with all the sights, sounds and of course, smells, well done, and all the best!
with much love.
mj.
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