tangled up in tie-dye
behind archaic walls
lies a story in quiescent slumber
sunny land... sunny land...
rouse and tell her saga
this maiden so fair
tell us of her tale
Oh sunny land... sunny land...
awaken her
Florescent dreams fill her head
heart, not still beating
her lungs, not breathing
She dances among cobwebs
silently moving
not a sound
not a sound
sunny land... sunny land...
rouse and tell her saga
this maiden so fair
tell us of her tale
Oh sunny land... sunny land...
awaken her
Author notes
Author Name: Veronica Leigh
Okay, obviously I'm not finished with this yet. But here is some background information about the poem/story I'm writing.
I moved to Tallahassee, Florida in 2005 after graduating from highschool to go to college. When I got here I was told about this haunted "insane asylum" and I went to see it. Everyone called it Sunnyland and I was told that the patients were mistreated horribly and were kept in cages and sometimes dragged to the river to be drowned.
I went exploring in the haunted "insane assylum" one day (which was illegal, but a lot of people do it anyway) the building was 5 stories (plus you could walk on the roof) and it took us 3 hours to go through the entire thing. It was really really creepy and I got sick from the asbestos, but it was a pretty cool experience.
ANYway, I later found out that first the hospital was a tuberculosis hospital and then, after being shut down, it was re-opend and turned into a hostpital for mentally and physically handicapped children and was re-named Sunland.
There ARE reports that the children were in fact mistreated. The hospital ended up being closed down in 1983 due to the mistreatment of the patients and the lack of funding.
Well, Sunland was finally torn down in 2006 and an apt complex was built in its sted. That apt complex is called Victoria Grand.
This poem will be about Sunnyland (or Sunland) and a handicapped girl who died there and haunted Sunnyland long after. Her name - Victoria.
If you want to read more about Sunland, I've provided some links below.
http://www.geocities.com/ppiinvestigations/sunland.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sunland_Hospital
In a list
A contest entry
- Give me something DARK PW allowed by Elle Kaye.
800 points, ended August 13, 2008, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Walking into the Darkness! by vampireblood.
300 points, ended September 21, 2008, 66 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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U WENT IN A HAUNTED ASYLUM!!! .. alot braver than i am ida peed my pants and ranaway. but enough about that .. its was a good poem it reminded me of that movie with kevin bacon about the girl who haunts him cause these people killed and buried this girl in the walls of his house or something but yeah great poem maybe when u go finish it you could some how adapt in her story and why she haunts the place BTW
"Florescent dreams fill her head
heart, not still beating
her lungs, not breathing"
thats some fukn ill shit right there i got chills
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This was really good. I liked the repetition of certain things. It brought more to the poem. Nicely done =] Thanks for entering and best of luck to you in my contest.
<3 Vampy -
I really like where you have taken the inspiration for this piece from, very dark and very disturbed. Thank you for entering this contest
just a note to ask you to check that you have followed the rules - I wish you the best of luck when it comes to judging!
Keep writing
Polly
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this is elegant and beautiful. there is something ageless to it.
sunny land... sunny land...
rouse and tell her saga
this maiden so fair
tell us of her tale
that reminds me of chivalric poetry, and i love the idea of fluorescent dreams. *do* finish it if you get the chance!
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I Agree With Mom
You showed me this as it was being done and explained what it was about and the background - I like the way it started and the words and brief metaphors. I too would like to see it finished. Please hurry! I think it's going to be good!
Hugs,
GP
Keep going, lady. It's getting better. Love the second part too. More!!!
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WOW, well I'm so sad you didn't come back to finish this!!!
The story in your AN sounds absolutely fascinating, and thank you for the links....they made for interesting reading.
Your poem starts out so well! Really makes me want to read more....so when you're done please let me know! I'd love to read the completed version. Unfortunately, due to unforeseen circumstances at home I'm closing this contest a bit early...although I did send out a notification yesterday.
Thanks,
Luck. -
Great start!
Love the "tangled up in tye-dye"! And..."quiescent slumber"....nice.
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