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Can’t Hold It Any Longer

Frantic in the most frangible
state; I found it!

Crashed through the door,
pushed on the first stall…
damn, locked.

Pushed on the next…
god this hurts!

Squeezing so tight I
bent over and looked
under the next.

Cute shoes!

I give up!  Yanked up
the skirt, dropped
the drawers.

Sitting with my
back to the mirror…

Ahhhhh…….

 

 

 

Author notes

Prompt:

"Sometimes you just have to
pee in the sink..."  ~ Charles Bukowski~

In a list

A contest entry

Comments:

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 24 of 24

  • artis
    November 10, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Somehow in a pleasant peasant kinda way this seems very classy and ladylike in spite of the squat thrust at the end, after exhausting all of societies expectations for disposal of fluids, you simply followed your instinct,

    and went barbaric on the linoleum...lol..I loved it...Artis


  • And Hyetal
    August 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    oh, wow. That's why you go to the bathroom before you leave.

    A bronze well-earned.



    ~Cassie


  • Dalaney gold member
    July 28, 2008
    Edit | Reply


  • jo-el
    July 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    yeah that's funny. liked that compound word in first stanza. sounds real though


  • CatQueen248
    July 18, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This was great. I got a kick out of it, lol. Great write.

  • Ulimate
    July 18, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    *CLAP*

    Great visual, i can see it perfectly.


  • Cup-a-Joe
    July 18, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Great take on the prompt!! Love the looking under the doors. "Nice shoes" lol
    Joe


  • sailor ptolema
    July 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    bwahahahaha This is so funny! And so true; a girl would totally notice shoes, even in a situation like that . Great poem.
    best of luck in the contest!

    ~Pt


  • MJ Donnelly gold member
    July 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    OMG! LMAO! Hahahahahaha! Oh...my sides hurt, and I laughed until I cried Amera, brilliant and terribly witty penning dear, all the best. *sigh*


    Love and peace always,
    mj.


  • kiwigirljacks gold member
    July 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I think we've all wanted to do that at times!!! lol. This gave me such a giggle!! Especially the "cute shoes" bit.. that is so typically female isn't it! I have a shoe thing myself!

    This is fabulous!


  • Faeryn
    July 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Oh my God....this is too funny. I love the "Cute shoes!" line. Amazing poem, Amera. I love it!!
    Love,
    Tay


  • malmadre gold member
    July 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I love the "cute shoes" interjected amidst the urge to go, distracted from the pressure for just a second. It made me smile.


  • Mairi bheag gold member
    July 15, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Well, Sis, I have to say that this is pretty cute!


  • Sue Cardwell gold member
    July 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    It should be 'Smile while you're reading that', because that's what I was doing

    Been there, done that, well almost....

    All the best in the contest

    Love
    Sue


  • Rebekah-Ann silver member
    July 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    hahahaha this is funny, I expected something diffrent juging by the title. Nice suprise I got. hehehe

    All the best in the contest! It was so funny! I loved it!

    Becks


  • MaMa-2-be-Cindy
    July 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    hahahahahahaha

    Oh I just love it......this is awesome darl, funny and so poetic..


  • NeonRose
    July 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    LOL..well, the title dragged me in, and the poem held me..or was it those crossed legs? Too funny! Best to you in the contest!


  • echo-ink
    July 14, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Amera, you naughty, nasty girl, doing what I would, hehehe this was hilarious. You Go Girl, hahaha

    loved it.


  • Sesheta
    July 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Humorous take on the quote! Ah, memories, make me ache in pity...I especially liked the "Cute shoes!" in the middle there. Very nice. G'luck!


  • cricketjeff gold member
    July 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Fan-bloody-tastic!!!!

    What a pity you don't do free verse or you could write something this good!!!!

    Errrrrr
    I'm confused


  • HaleyMary
    July 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Well, what can a person do? When you need to go, you need to go, eh?

    I must say until I read the prompt in the author notes, I wasn't expecting that ending. I like your free verse poetry. Don't get me wrong, I like your sonnets, but It's always nice to see you writing in different forms, too. Thanks for sharing and best of luck in the contest.


  • PerVirtuous
    July 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I love how you have built this story to a watershed moment! Brilliant! I see gold!!!!! I love love love this. Kudos and bunnies for you!!!


  • StarEyes
    July 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Sis, this is just perfect for this prompt! Wayyyyyy to good girl! I love it, and got one hell of a chuckle out of it! Great job!

    Best of luck in this contest!

    and love

    Nyetta

1 - 24 of 24