Squatting at the edge of the dock
in the dark, a cigarette dangles
between my fingers -
off the wagon, back into bad habits,
the water below is too deep to find
any answers, too shallow for a quick resolve,
so I stand up straight, take another drag,
and walk back into my life, a stubborn bitch.
In a list
A contest entry
- Welcome Home, Vaseline Carmichael by onerios13.
6500 points, ended July 27, 2008, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 29 of 29
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excellent poem. something is so sad about it, old habits always come back, i am the same with that.
x -
BAM! Hell yeah! I thought this was deadon in recognizing jane's survival instincts, in her savoir faire towards life and its inching burdens. This had grit and endurance and is a testiment to her courage and fortitude.
Loved it.
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Sorry to hear that you are back to an old habit, but nonetheless, we still love you and your words.
All the best,
with love and peace always,
mj.
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Tightly crafted without compromise...
a bald view of someone who refuses
to contemplate themselves as victim.
Blue
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I am a fan of Frost's 'Road not taken'.But your poem reminded me of how essential it is to retrace our steps from the unconventional.Excellent juxtaposition of phrases--- 'a cigarette dangles'and'I stand up straight'.
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Wonderful
Very creative and well done. Best of luck in the contest.
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Go you!!! I'm stubborn too... I personally think it is a good quality!!
Fab poem as always Lane!
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Your title and phrasing is street-language-to-the-point without compromise. The dark water serves as an oracle for self-questioning. I like the words "and walk back into my life". With the "stubborn" confirmation of remaining who you are? Effective subtle alliteration in and out of the poem.
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Read it, Liked it.!
JOE
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another contemplative sample...I like the introspection of your writing. I've been away too long...glad I could stop by for a dose of Lane's poetry. Well done.
Rory
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pixie tag!
You've been tagged by a pixie in the Enchanted Realm.
This poem was written so deeply, I could find myself diving into every word. The imagery and metaphors are just beautiful. I love it.
Now it's YOUR turn to visit a Pixie poem... someone from The Enchanted Realm. Pass it along. 
~Cassie
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Yes, mines generally the top of a particular hill...
and I always walk back down again.
Though sometimes I fancy that I've heard or seen something 'renewing'.
I think I do.
Sol
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You pack so much into a few lines of poetry. I particularly liked,
“the water below is too deep to find
any answers, too shallow for a quick resolve”
I hope you always keep walking back into life and remain a stubborn bitch.
Love, Peter
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I just love this piece; but I can't really formulate into writing why .... well; I'm off to stare into the pacific ocean, hoping it will cure my writer's block; & give me something substantial to write about...
...anyway love this; i've read it like 5 times
~Pt
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Good stuff!
A lot of image/mood for a smaller piece. I like the poetry and the attitude.
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get what?
when the Potomac is damned with white-washed capital fury, will you light another and wave your hand like nothing horrible happened over the past 4 decades? got a light, or an extra lawn chair?
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Sounds like a resolution of sorts to me...walking back into your life...sharp and full of true grit, 'Pilgrim'., heehee, you reminded me of a John Wayne attitude, but with your much prettier legs, my dear ...I like it. Best of luck in the contest. Peace, Rhonda
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stubborn bitches usually conquer life in the end. good poem
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Excellent
I completely get you! Cigarettes taste so good...I'm a stubborn bitch too.
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Just checking out the answers from your fan club below. Hmmm.
I like the "stubborn bitch" you. This is (all too often) how I feel too, minus the cigarette.
You're undoubtedly in Bukowski territory, but as always I find you much more communicative, more poetic than your hero. But then that's YOU, and why you are so good as a poet. Again, to short to seize on words or phrases.
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Yup.
And still love you anyway, stubborn or not.
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Good stuff!
"too dark to find any answers, too shallow for a quick resolve"
Luvit.
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i like the alligorical poetry, especially the dark waters and depths of uncertainy. also a fan of dangling. -participlefish
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lol I'll take the bad habit with me too, seems life revolves around them...men, cigarettes, drinking but damnit if there weren't those what the hell would we do with our hands??? Love, C
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Great write, Lane. I like the part of the water being dark. It seemed metaphorical, like it's hard to find the answers in life sometimes and maybe it's just best for people to live life and go with the flow as best as they can. Thanks for sharing and best of luck in the contest.
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Oh i like this. You write with such presence; I admire that!
Such a great poem.
g'luck in the contest!
~Pt
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Very good writing:
"...too dark to find
any answers, too shallow for a quick resolve..."
Perfection knows no patience.
One day at a time...
Paul
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God, I love reading your poetry. I've sat on that dock many times, and you expressed exactly what I felt.
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Another glance into your life, pity about the cigarette...
I wouldn't mind walking beside you back into your life for a while though
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