Here I am (Where I stand)
Take a look around you (tell me what you see)
Look a little harder at me
I am here, there and everywhere
I hope you can understand
You gave me hope to live again
I was lost and founding when you took my hand
You showed me what was possible and I knew
It was then I saw the light and I understood
You showed me how to live and what to do
But what became of you and me?
The love we shared was supposed to be
Don't you worry everything's in hand
You'll always be that special don't you see?
You rock me to the core
You gave me hope to live again
We were made just for each other
Even when we were on the run
We chased the night around the world
Even when we were under the gun
Your magic can still light up the sky
You'll always be the apple of my eye
When we're rockin' in the city you an' me
We'll make a memory to live past eternity
Don't you just love it so?
Just hold on tight then let it all go
I hope you can understand
You gave me hope to live again
Here I am (Where I stand)
Take a look around you (tell me what you see)
Rock me in the city you an' me
Just rock me to the core
C'mon an' go, go, go sweet bikini
Oh, yeh...
Author notes
option# 1
A contest entry
- just come on in and write by char-char.
980 points, ended July 16, 2008, 4 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Make Me Remember You! by TheGangstress.
600 points, ended July 29, 2008, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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I'd rate this so-so in terms of an actual poem. The rhyming was very dictionary-ish and highly repetitive. I felt that it lacked a sense of depth and creativity. You started out with the parentheses and it was really catchy, like a song I could sing in my head. But as it went on, the rhythm was so random and misplaced that it took on the nature of a poem rather than a song.
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good write poet
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