Robbers at sea are called pirates
they take everything on your boat,
but on land they are called politicians
take your money then ask for your vote.
With pirates at least you can fight
in the hope that they might withdraw,
but you can't stop the politicians
for they rob you within the law.
These two could be quite similar
in a slightly different way,
pirates rob you when they can
politicians do it everyday.
Of course we condemn the pirates
what they do is a terrible sin,
but remember with politicians
we're the people that voted them in.
A contest entry
- Anything by Shining for You.
700 points, ended August 5, 2008, 13 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Rhymed prewrites only ... by ecrivain01.
750 points, ended November 14, 2008, 61 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give Me Rhyme or Give Me Death by NickRhyme.
400 points, ended July 20, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - PRE-WRITES WANTED by echo-ink.
700 points, ended August 5, 33 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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sad and even sadder that it's true.
loved it. -
Nice work. Corruption. Thank you for entering.
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i liked this! it was hilarious, yet at the same time, was so true.
keep up the good work! thanks for entering and good luck in my contest!
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Funny and so true! In fact I like it so much it is now a finalist. Way to go!
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Heh, if I could give points for simply echoing my sentiments this would take platinum. Unfortunately fairness mandates that I constrain my enthusiasm to technical merits, etc.
Technically it's a bittersweet affair. The principle drawback is with the meter. The first word of the first verse stars on a stressed syllable, on the other verses the first words start with unstressed syllables. Various lines have 7, 8 or 9 syllables.
Pedestrian rhyme is probably too harsh, but the rhyme isn't anything out of the common way (not that it has to be to be effective) but it's nice when a poet searches to find at least one odd or flamboyant rhyming pair. Vocabulary usage is also fair, but not exceptional.
The poem's strength lies in it's message and in spite of my brutal critique here, I like it a lot. -
Love it! A very true sentiment.
Best of luck! -
well done
A funny way to look at things but its so true good luck in the contest. -
Heheh!
Humorous and true! I'd rather vote a pirate than a politician! Overall, great poem! It gave me quite a few laughs skimming through it! Good luck!
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Very true. I hate politicians.
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yup, that's really the truth of the matter...
well, great job!!!
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I loved it. Politicians are absolute crooks. I loved the rhyme and flow of this poem and that fact that you did not pick sides. Nicely done.
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I wasn't sure how to take this. Until I read your other comments. I guess I should be laughing at this horribly funny write. Laughing is good for us.... RIGHT? It is funny, but sad too.
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LOL Amusing but so very true. Your flow and meter were good and the rhyme did seemed forced. Good write. Pen on...
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excellenta! this is brillant and wonderful and gave me a good laugh and smile, thanks so much and keep with your writting and views
take care
stephanie ♥ -
Amen...
This is outstanding in its simple message.
I definitely agree with every word.
Very nicely written.
wolf
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Excellent
I liked this one for the fact you told the entire truth. There is absolutely on difference between the criminal, The politician or the lawyers. They're all out to rob you blind.
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