One...It clicks
as it leaves my fingertips,
one soft fluid motion suspended there,
it clouds with sounds in silent air.
Time...
fluid, not mine...
Crack.
Two...you have one, you have none,
you have two you have some.
Bend or break?
How long will this take?
one...two...
Crack.
Three through to five,
Glass shards on the floor; a hive.
Refracting, cracking, breaking, gone,
leaving no room on the floor to walk on.
Crack...Crack...Crack...
Flick... it spins,
drops where it begins,
no thought, no start, just ends...
Number six bends but
Crack.
I sigh... take a breath.
There's only one left.
Flick...
"He loves me" soft on my lips,
"He loves me...
Crack.
Author notes
[star] Seven Glass Beads
A contest entry
- 20 Titles and Quotes by Travel Notes.
600 points, ended July 15, 2008, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
I didn't understand this at all at first Shell, it was really surreal to read at first, but it all made sense when i hit the last stanza:
" sigh... take a breath.
There's only one left.
Flick...
"He loves me" soft on my lips,
"He loves me...
Crack."
I do agree with the last comment though, lines 8-13 really confuddled me too...but oh well not to worry. Overall, I think it is a good poem, however, ome of the rhyming seems a tiny bit....well im not sure of the right word for because it isn't forced...it just doesn't link quite as well.
Anyway yeah, good poem Shell =]
x
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Lovely rhythem and flow here. The rhyming was a little awkward in a couple areas but nothing some slight tweaking couldn't fix. The second stanza (lines 8-13) was a bit confusing.
Two...you have one, you have none,
you have two you have some.
???? I don't get it.
Thanks for participating, I enjoyed reading this.
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