Life is like a Rollercoaster,
running all around.
Strap up your faith just like you would your holster,
or else you'll hit the ground.
No need to drown out all the screams,
you just learn to deal with the sound.
And although as desperate as they seem,
they'll see it clear when their fear has been found.
Now darkened clouds crowd overhead,
and rain is bled from the sky.
Worries of you winding up dead,
are finding their way to your mind.
Broken and blind we all sit here,
in fear of losing our lives.
Deprived in tears amongst our peers
as you can hear all their cries.
I wonder why we're struck in fear,
when all that's here is a test.
Lets just see the World a little bit clearer,
and then let Life steer the rest.
A contest entry
- AP's Best Prewrites by lowercase prelude.
800 points, ended July 22, 2008, 75 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - PREWRITTEN POEMS!!!!! by kavi22.
450 points, ended August 5, 2008, 138 entries
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600 points, ended August 9, 2008, 56 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Best of the Best by Night Terrors.
400 points, ended May 25, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - A Few Words I'm Sick of Seeing: by Exit-Stage-Right.
1050 points, ended September 15, 2008, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Poetry, Poetry and PreWrites! by Lost Vampyre Angel.
1200 points, ended September 13, 2008, 340 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Interesting write, good theme. Good luck
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This poem is disqualified for very obvious reasons. Please reread the first rule.
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what contest did u win gold for this it doesn't show
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Interesting poem. I like the last stanza because it leaves the reader with a good question. Why are we struck in fear? Good question. thank you for the entry.
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Hello.
This has some insightful lines. Although you don't come out and say it, there does seem to be an understanding that fear is something for the flesh and not the soul; "Worries.......to your mind", aids this interpretation.
"Let life steer the rest", also indicates an understanding that without fear and thus trust and belief in ones self are what is really needed. The nature of life you have stated as up and down, and I do agree with that, and another telling line of yours is "no need to drown..........deal with the sound". This to me reads of someone who recognizes that we must face that which makes us afraid rather than hide from it.
I hope you will take the following in the manner it is intended; I think your write could be tightened up here. Stanza 1 line 3 and stanza 2 line 4, has too many words so the structure and rhythm is compromised, certainly stanza 1 line 3.
Spelling mistakes: in your last stanza line 1, it should be "we're". Last stanza line 2 should be "that's".
My regards.
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