My mind is blank,
My eyes are dull,
My thoughts are full of hate.
Hate for myself,
For putting my body
through so much crap
and hate for myself
for pulling you along with me.
Drugs and alcohol
Are all that consumes me now.
I am locked away,
Awaiting for their attack.
Sitting in front of the heater,
Trying to keep warm in 30 degree heat,
I just sit.. and stare..
Nothing can hurt me here.
It feels as if I am outside of my body,
Looking back at a lifeless person.
I feel so much anger
towards myself,
So much that if I could,
I'd kick myself in the teeth.
I would like to kill myself,
But being so stoned,
I'd probably try it,
Believe I was dead
But then wake up,
to face the same shit again.
Author notes
Don't know what I was trying to prove.
I wish I could care!
Comments
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i love this write! its depressing, emotional, and the diction is great. plus, this is how i feel toward myself. hate me. i love anything i can relate to, but this poem is my definition. LOVE THIS WRITE!
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Oh honey
You listen to me if you dont listen to any one else in your life please listen to me today . You can kick yourself around and feel horrible all the time or you can this very day make up your mind you want to be happy again you want to get that girl thats screaming from within the help she so needs and wants .I love you honey and believe me I know what you are doing and how the drugs and alcohole so controls your mind .You want it to stop do you want to live and know the happiness you once had .Then get out there and go into a center and receive that help today right now .If I was there I would pick you up and get you to it myself for I dont let any of my friends go under and believe me those drugs have a way of taking the young and making them think thoughts that are so wrong for their is that yyoung lady inside of you sheb has never left you its just with the drugs you cant hear her screams from within . Please honey I know you dont know me but you are one of my children I could never have and my goal right now is to see you are helped and see you through to a life with love a family and children of your own .For you to know the feeling of your child saying mama and being called grandma its a blessing you so dont want to misss. Please think about this for me and wrap my heart with love and reach out take their hands and I will keep my prayers for you going the whole way . I will always be right here for you to talk to through the whole thing . Be that child of mine and let me save you from this pain you feel let me know the feeling of being a true mother helping her child find her way out of this darkness together lets see the light and our hearts shall embrace forever and a day.
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It's going to be okay babe, I'm here for you and I love you, you can get help and you are stonger than all that. You8're a wonderful person and I love you, you will make it through this I know you will xxxxx
Love you
xx
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