A music graceful and pristine
opens hearts to the wonders of life,
sighs like a dream through the treetops,
and caresses the grass on the meadows
in greens so vibrant and verdant,
its branches shade all of our world.
Its needles fall with the seasons,
and soft winds tickle its limbs.
The sun shines a gold benediction,
and broad vistas unroll to the gaze.
A living organism called Gaia
broadcasts a message of peace.
The Great Manitou breathes a blessing
on the rivers, the lakes and the seas.
Rains and floods are followed by rainbows,
and amphibians croak in the swamps.
From the darkness comes dawn,
and life teems and rejoices --
till the cool breath of evening
draws day down to its close.
Author notes
I personified the planet and all its seasons. Hopefully this is okay.
A contest entry
- Mother of All My Contests - For MY Favorites Only by CarolDesjarlais.
5250 points, ended July 15, 2008, 10 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - For allpoetry by the Winklings. #162 All welcome by Lyndon.
3220 points, ended February 15, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think?
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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Well, whatever you did,
it was done through the eyes of a Romantic which does not sit snugly with the title. Rather than personifying the planet and the seasons (You would need to write "Paradise Re-found", methinks) your lines seem to transport me to a definite place filled with Nature's bounty.
Ron.
A Winkler.
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I've seen far too much ...
to be a romantic.
This is more of a hope than a statement.
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This would be the ideal; maybe some sort of resurrection can happen. Like you, I do hope so and I enjoyed your beautiful write.
Congrats on the HM.
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An enjoyable read of beautiful images inspired by your fantastic graphic. Lovely thoughts expressed from start to finish, but I can't help thinking that with shaving a few articles out, a couple rephrases or word choices/additions would strengthen the personification and metaphor. A little example is in this section, where I think your personification is the strongest:
"The sun shines a gold benediction,
and broad vistas unroll to the gaze.
A living organism called Gaia
broadcasts a message of peace."
possibly something like this:
"The Sun shines a gold benediction
out over/across amassed vistas,
as Gaia broadcasts (a/his) message of peace."
Sometimes less is more, and I really think by a little revision your very well written poem can be outstanding. And I do allow edits up until contest close.
Thank you for joining me, best wishes!
many blessings, Sandi
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A luxurious nature poem that feels like a trip to the most beautiful of places on Earth. I am taking it to Poetry Planet, the poetry blog I run for The Reporter Newspaper in California.
You said I could borrow from your collection (months ago,) actually. I hope it is OK.
melodies
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Of course ...
you can.
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this is a beautiful write for someone that doesn't feel like writing
I only wish I had that gift...to turn it on at the tip of a hat
excellent
Peace and congrats
Muddy
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Wow... I lvoe the personification in this poem..it made me hold my breath until another lien would force it out.....beautifullllllllllllllly penned....
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Thanks. ;)
Sorry I didn't get back to this sooner, but I've been ill.
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Bare bones?
The existance you paint with words is not bare, but lush and beautiful The third stanza makes me long for the woods in the North. I can almost smell the pine forests. This is a glimpse into part of the world we are often too busy to notice. Well done!
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Enjoyable read
REminds me of today in the yard, when I actually saw a hawk doing lazy circles above the block I live on. Flowers, grasses, wind, everything. Gaea in all her summer glory. It does not have to rhyme to make music. Nice summer write here.
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Superbly scripted verse bringing mythological deities into play of natures ebbs and flows. This exquisite piece breaths in it's own right. Nice composition.
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