Eyes flutter remembrance
of a scarlet dawn
where hummingbirds
pilfered the breath of shadows
In its avarice the night neglected
to lift the stone of earth
and we waltzed across the tick of time
twirling Apollo's infinite gleam
With sunlight as our sword
we cut the canopy of dreams
and filled the woods
with whispers of dragon blaze
There, sheltered from sin
we slayed servants
of the devil's errands
and bathed in the blood
of blind demons
We feasted upon
the resolution of a scandal
of deception wove at midnight
revealed as nothingness
when flames finally found
a web of lies
But I shall spin my own silk
and fling my will upon the sky
to entrap celestial bees
in the promise of perpetual day
I will not miss the shine of lunar beams
and as I listen to the death of tides
it is the name of moon
that echoes in my mind
Author notes
Option 7) Blend of the other options
1)Picture Inspired:
http://r1otg1rl.deviantart.com/art/burrefly-effect-84852251
2)Word Banks: (bold)
[1]: hummingbird, pilfer, stone
[2]: avaricious, scandal, lunar
[3]: woods, remembrance, scarlet
3)Phrase Bank (italics)
sheltered from sin(ners/ing/etc., etc.)
devil's errand(s)
4)Culture Reference Bank:
Neo from The Matrix
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neo_%28The_Matrix%29
Stanza 7 formed from the Matrix quote:
Agent Smith: That Is The Sound Of Your Death, Mr. Anderson.
Neo: My Name... Is Neo.
Spiderman
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spiderman
Stanza 6
5)Title Inspired:
Stalking Shadows
A contest entry
- Your choice of options (: by notorious.
1098 points, ended July 16, 2008, 8 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 29 of 29
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Great poem. Really... Breath taking.
Stunning imagery throughout the poem, and stunning poem all together.
I am jealous of your words.
Wonderfully done
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Man...you are good!
You outshine me...don't bother at all reading me, truly its not worth it. This is great, exceptional in fact. I will endeavour to learn from you. So glad to discover you today...alby
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Wow I am at a loss for words. Very well written.
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stunning poem
deception wove at midnight
revealed as nothingness
when flames finally found
a web of lies~
i love the way the imagery takes me right out into the moonlight...! -
Exquisite, this should be published. Small wonder you've garnered the gold, you've taken a challenge and turned it into your own masterpiece. This is stunning!
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omg omg omg omg
i am rarely so enthusiastic, but this is so masterful, and its style and imagery is ambitious and glorious. if you had read this live, i would be tossing roses. hahaha- and if you haven't guessed, i will be *sure* to read more of your work
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Wow truly a masterpiece indeed!
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There, sheltered from sin
we slayed servants
of the devil's errands
and bathed in the blood
of blind demons
This its the one that got me. Beautifully written, thank you for sharing -
An excellent write couched with hidden meanings that makes your reader want to read again and again as more depth is gained with each successive reading.
In particular I like this stanza.
But I shall spin my own silk
and fling my will upon the sky
to entrap celestial bees
in the promise of perpetual day
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I like your style
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Featured this huh? Nice
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Excellent poem, wow I am really impressed and humbled by the talent that shines through here. I absolutely love the strong imagery. Definitely deserving of a gold. Well done.
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Still good the third time.
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I like the hummingbirds taking away the shadows; oooo, that second stanza is great - stone of earth, tick of time. Nice - cutting canopy of dreams, whispers of dragon blaze, resolution of a scandal, flames found a web of lies. I like the resolve of S6 and the acceptance (?) of S7. Very Apollonian... if I am using that correctly.
Congratulations on the gold.
Marlene -
I don't think it's fair that you keep getting Gold. Start writing me crap! Just kidding.
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this is awesome as always, *huG* i really had fun reading this, you have soo many wonderful phrases you put together, i knwo youll do god in the contest,
take care,
stephanie *hugs*
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You did a marvelous job with all the combinations you used. I would never have guessed you were striving to use the words for they flowed so well. You painted a beautiful picture with the words and I wish you the best of luck in the contest. Pen on...
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wow a feast of wonderous worlds indeed, yet i felt the last stanza begs continue, as it being the first intro into night and the last few lines so untied and open to the idea of mind of mind creating the world of light, still wonderous, language setting scene, imagination, inspirations of duality and matrix meglomania, great write mate,
w a spoon and magnets
-JAS
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Wow... It's like a dream in writing... I'm kind of speachless - I can't think past your words. This is beautiful and brilliant! I love it!
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Amazing & Beautiful
This is both amazing and beautiful. Amazing because you have used all the prompts in the contest so well, this is an achievement in itself. Beautiful because it is just that, a lovely and very beautiful piece of writing. I hope you do well in the contest. Wishing you all Good Luck. With all my very best wishes from Rose xx for you
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Love, love, love the Imagery in this Bro
just a brilliant smooth flow too , brilliant writing on your part
deserves a GOLD
Cind
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You did a wonderful job.. You really did a wonderful job with this contest.. I was going to enter but now I'm like.. umm, yeah no..Lol. Bravo hun.. Best of luck to you.
Angel
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Wowzers!! Not only have you blown away all those prompts.. you've penned a tale that is magical and beautiful!!
Thank god I didn't enter this contest!!! lol
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Holy hell, how do you always manage to weave such a web (teehee, Spidey) of options into something that's actually coherent?!!!
"Eyes flutter remembrance
of a scarlet dawn"
Scarlet dawn...sounds pretty. Oh yeah, and FYI, LOVE the word 'flutter'.
"where hummingbirds
pilfered the breath of shadows"
I love hummingbirds!!! They're cute, and the breath of shadows being pilfered is a genius thought.
"twirling Apollo's infinite gleam"
LOVE THIS!!!
"of the devil's errands
and bathed in the blood
of blind demons"
That's sick...but I like it a lot. (: Sounds like devilish duties to me!!
"We feasted upon
the resolution of a scandal
of deception wove at midnight"
The idea of feasting on a scandal is highly accurate...everyone loves gossip. =P "Deception wove at midnight" sounds sexy.
"revealed as nothingness
when flames finally found
a web of lies"
Makes me think of Spiderman also, what with the use of the word 'web'...
"But I shall spin my own silk
and fling my will upon the sky"
HAHAHAHAHA, very self-empowering and Spidey...awesome.
"I will not miss the shine of lunar beams
and as I listen to the death of tides
it is the name of moon
that echoes in my mind"
Aww, you're making me sad about Neo dying. =[
But wonderful allusion and stanza...wonderful write as well!!!!!!!!!!!!
Did this honestly challenge you? It reads off like..spider-made silk.
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I LOVE PONIES!!!
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