Dove
Her doves have flown in mourning lament
across the line of sky where time turns
in the bend to light a flowered face,
I feel her embrace of love
not stab or wounded wide in cry, no,
at peace from misery's sigh
and I'm inspired by her resplendency.
Eagle
Her nature nurtured grace of smile with an
eagle-eye to pal, with open arms
her warm displays to silly me,
whose fragile strong in run along the lawn
of yesterday, I still can grasp her skirt
again and feel her strengthening pull
whenever I am threatened from within.
Swan
Swan grows through a series of survival
flutters by with waves of hope and revival
on the sandy beaches of my heart
still ebbs, is gone yet still flows
to teach the steps to share and care
with open arms the beacon,
into the depth so lit,
to love and live way beyond my fear.
Blackbird
Even in winter with heartache brake
and possibilities now unspoken,
awoken in me undeniable truths
I knew the white light around a space,
this corner of grace was where to go
to hold myself within my wings,
and know even past my sight
that everything will be all right.
Flock
And so these three with some of me
have strayed to places
where we grew and loved,
and helped break the chains that held
so we could fly...
within the dove's lament,
the swan's sway,
the eagle's eye.
and the blackbird's sighhh.
Hopefully we will meet again in this whirl
where you can have true friends
We will sail the wind kept at this place
where sweet of time
stills, in revered grace... 'til then,
We will always be the best of Friends.
Author notes
Prompt Contest ( by OhNoChastity.
PROMPT: Number 25 ~ "I get by with a little help from my friends."
-- "With a Little Help From My Friends" by the Beatles.
Picture: "Feathers on my Breath" Courtesy of "PhotoBucket"
A contest entry for: Mother of All My Contests - For MY Favorites Only
Prompt: Nature personification, senses, soul, and metaphor.
For my 3 Soul Sisters ~ You three will always be a part of me...
In a list
- TREASURED!!! • next in list
- BRONZE • next in list
- Beautiful Words by Beautiful People I Know • next in list
- TROPHIED POEMS • next in list
A contest entry
- Mother of All My Contests - For MY Favorites Only by CarolDesjarlais.
5250 points, ended July 15, 2008, 10 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prompt Contest (B) by OhNoChastity.
2300 points, ended October 17, 2008, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Dove Song by Shya.
600 points, ended September 21, 2008, 35 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Well, this was a surprise. How majestically creative. I definitely you think you captured the prompt well, as well as creatively. There is no doubt that this is an expression of friendship, and the meaning of it, and how it helps one person along.
I like how you defined each bird, or friend, differently, describing a person in a metaphor and showing how each of them is protective and helpful in some way, showing exactly what they do for the narrator. I also like the last section of "flock", where they all come together, only to leave again. I love the line "hopefully we can meet again in this whirl". I've never seen a word like that used to describe chaos, and the windy aspect of it doesn't go unnoticed, as though flying through a tornado.
I like how you divided the sentence. It was very even, but it still kept a flow without being overly divided.
I would suggest perhaps shortening each section about the birds. I found it slightly redundant and I began to lose interest. I think a couple of lines shortened or simplified for each one would help express the wonder of each with more oomf, so to speak.
The creativity in this is splendid. Thank you so much for entering! -
As did Carol, I read with misty eye, too...twice, so touched at the reverberating heart speak for three trememdously radiant women. The blackbird's wings have an undeniable sheen that catch the eye and the spirit in the sun; he knows every "corner of grace" to quietly gleem in white light! 
How loving are these lines!
~Karen
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Well, now you have gone and done it......I weep...sweet tears....a sense of longing filled to brim...I miss you all here..there is never again going to be a way, other than be here, that somewhere in my cells has need of you all to fill.....
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Your poem is just amazing, I am sure Carol will simply adore this. Enjoyed reading this immensely. Juls
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Oh poet this is just so very beautiful and well done, I am sure Carol will enjoy this so much as I do. Love, C
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