Look up into the sky
You see that shooting star flying by?
AS it passes through the night
I quickly close my eyes
I wish, I wish for you
I wish you'd love me too
All I want is to hold you hand
To e the only one on your mind
I want to be forever in your arms
Please understand
My heart is yours to have
Never forget it,
If you need reminding look to the stars
In their twinkle and their glow
My love for you will surely show
Look here into my eyes
Plainly given away in them
My love for you is there to see
There is no question if my love for you is true
It has only ever been for you
My heart aches in longing
You see your my other half
Without you my soul is incomplete
My love for you will forever last
Never forget it,
If you need reminding look into my eyes
In their laughter and their tears
My love for you is clear
A contest entry
- Options! Prewrites accepted. by after-silence.
900 points, ended July 14, 2008, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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I think you have a good message here for the poem but I'm not sure I like how it's presented. I'm trying to figure out if the occasional end rhyme is just a mistake since it's inconsistent. Also keep in mind that even when you're not utilizing a set meter, it can be a good idea to make sure your rhythm flows well. (That's my weakness, too, when I'm writing without a fixed form.) This is still a very good poem and I'm glad to have had a chance to read it. Thanks so much for entering my contest!
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yes very very very clear..it is wseen here in your wonderful words...a wonderful piece indeed..well done..and my thanks for sharing it
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