Serrated, strained vision struggles
with reactions radial
from pulse-point pain of
blood crystal, let go,
flung from minion without pause.
And defenses restrict,
congeal, ice-over in unreal.
Conviction in decimation,
tender hostage falls
to realization:
temptation squeezes
desire's hair trigger.
Sparks hurl, infiltrate, ignite
actuating conflict;
belaying trust with
tryst's oblivion.
Worth eradicated by
words aerating confession
a trip wire detonation,
exploding...bursting
from lips once intimate
ending amative world.
Author notes
Prompt: word bank and image provided...
Image Credit: Abstract by enrique
Used all words:
Actuate, Aerate, Blood, Burst, Conflict,
Crystal, Decimate, Detonate, Dynamite, Eradicate,
Explode, Ice, Minion, Pause, Point,
Radial, Spark, Struggle, Trigger, Trip
*minion as used here: One who is highly esteemed or favored; a darling
In a list
A contest entry
- Activate by Pamela A Lamppa.
1750 points, ended July 31, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything you want...Show me Your Best Poems..I need inspiration..PW's Welcome! by Hetha.
2100 points, ended August 20, 219 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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You more than stomped the word bank and used them within your piece, but you created and explosive and freeze-frame capture of such an extraordinary emotion. You depict it at its' core and run well with it. Well done!
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Wow. That first sentence just gripped my heart and pulled. Such a painful painful verse. You made great use of this word bank and made it truly your own.
Powerful and masterful use of language and emotion in this. Thank you for a brilliant write. Best of luck in the judging. ~Pamela
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So often the tender shoot of love is stepped on by careless words said in haste or anger. It's hard to reassemble a flower, un-ring a bell. Quite an efficient use of these words Blue. Nice job.
Paul
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Oh yeah, once it's out there and all that...
even when we refuse to acknowledge what the
heart relays (blood crystal), the pain is
stored, ready to be ignited into the open.
I'm glad you see the perspective proposed. Blue
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Great title. My brain read it initially as War Armor. Amour as secret illicit affair fits well.
The strained vision, which may have been unseeing of the inconceivable, now ignites "reactions radial," as the massive systemic shock will reach out to affect all aspects of one's life.
The "pulse-point pain of blood crystal, let go, flung" reiterates the irrationality of discarding one's own blood and life, "flesh of my flesh, bone of my bone" made one in marriage.
"Defenses restrict, congeal, ice-over in unreal" a terse description of shock's effects.
Exquisitely worded "temptation squeezes desire's hair trigger." "Actuating conflict" happens so quickly when our behavior is called into question, and pride makes our gorge to rise in defying truth.
Beautifully phrased "belaying trust with tryst's oblivion." Too easily we embrace the "have now, pay later" approach to finances and relationships.
"Worth eradicated" is a poignant expression. So often we define ourselves by our roles and relationships. Being undercut by one we trustingly defined ourselves by is a cruel wounding, but not the end of a soul's intrinsic worth.
Much of damage, betrayal and hurt in this write. "Exploding...bursting" gives the imagery that it will take time to regather one's shattered self and reknit.
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Wow! This looks like a real challenge of a contest! And you've done well in meeting and exceeding the goals sit by the host. My favorite line that expresses "activate" most is-"a trip wire detonation." Well done Poetess.
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