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I miss you

My Phoenix

long forgotten
long forlorn
or so they say
I miss you
not forgotten
never forlorn
you lived on in my heart
in my mind
in the deepest realms of my soul
no one can love you more
you said
no one could love me more
you did
tears brimming in my eyes
every time I remember you
but tears won't bring you back
won't bring me back into your arms
my safe haven
my only home where everything felt right
I guess I was too unworthy of you
He took you home
and I was left homeless
but while the blood was draining out of you
you said it one last time
tell her I love her
and that last sentence will stay with me until I die
giving me a warm bittersweet feeling
when the pain in my heart is too much to bear
on and on
I loved you
I still love you
I always will

one day you will rise again from the ashes

and I will rise from mine

until then
I miss you

Author notes

To the who loved me with all his heart, body and soul in my faraway past but hopefully near future...

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Comments


  • di ivers
    July 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    girl i miss you and i love you...i feel a great pain reading this poem...i wish i knew what to say...im lost in words
    love ya always
    ~~DI~~


    • gwynethshugart
      August 9, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      My Phoenix was my first true love of four years in college who was in an accident one week before our official engagement and who spent 9 months in the ICU paralyzed after that but... that never stopped him from loving me and caring about me and making sure I knew that. I will always miss him. I will always love him. He is the only one that never abused me in any way... My ex hubby did physically and psychologically. This new hubby doesn't do the physical part but psychologically? I sometimes think "I will not be able to sink any lower now into that quicksand black hole in my marital life "hell" bliss than now"... but then he surprises me and I go a new record of low. Isn't that wonderful? :-(( Try again? Hell no, the so called marital love now scares me more than anything in the world. Two bad hits out of three is more than enough, especially if one had to come 20,000 miles to just feel the pleasure of this horrendous pain. My Phoenix is the only one that would be able to ever make me believe in love again. But he is gone from this world as we know it as humans... But I know he lives on in spirit and in my heart giving me the strength to try to go on for a while longer... just not to even try to believe again in marital romantic human love anymore. I have given up on that. Love you always too, wish we could talk more, wish we lived closer... ~G