Darling, everywhere I go
I keep seeing you.
Past the broken fences
where we used to plant those tomatoes
under the summer sky,
do you remember the poison ivy you
accidentally stepped on?
These evergreens
remind me of the time
when we kissed in the rain,
and you swallowed down
my pathetic attempt at chicken noodle.
Oh the scent of jasmine!
Is this the cafe where we first met?
The full moon reminds me
of the ghost stories we whispered to each other,
and the light in your eyes
as you mocked me for my silliness.
How I remember
this cup of coffee;
I spilled some on you on our first date.
Has it been a year already?
The calender you sent for Christmas
is covered with cross-marks,
counting down the days
when I can hold you again.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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ohmyy! Loved it! so sweet.. and the imagery is so lovely:] Thank you for entering:]
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nicely done. I love the outpour you've kept under the write, very subtle.
Love,
jin -
...Ooooooo.... Aaaaaah.
nice peice. -
Thank you for sharing such beautiful memories with me. This is a wonderful write. Thank you so much for entering.
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lovely write.
thank you so much for taking the time to enter this,
good luck. -
great flow nice write I really enjoyed the read here
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Oh thank god, the first entry isn't a complete bore. Perhaps this contest won't be as terrible as I feared. I really love this piece. I suppose as a judge I shouldn't leave constructive criticism and just say "Thanks for entering."
Really, thank you. I mean it. -
So many fun memories they had together! Is this true? Well, then you're a great couple! =) 'The pathetic attempt at chicken noodle', the cup of coffee he spilt...that made me chuckle. =)
Good luck with the contest! =D
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So many memories contained within this write, and you showed us them all so vividly; it was like receiving a sudden 'sneak peek' into the life of someone else.
The mention of the first date, and spilling coffee upon your date made me shiver - almost a wince at the idea of it happen, and the embarrassment it must have caused, but hey, obviously something about your reaction worked if you two are still together and going strong
I enjoyed reading this, I know I say that a lot [because i do enjoy reading most works] but at the same time, I woudln't say it if I didn't mean it - and what particularly made me like it was the way you mentioned all relatively small events from your past together but made them seem huge because they were the important memories to you! Great job - thanks for sharing it, and for entering it!
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Thank you for your beautiful entry, good luck in my contest, Josie
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A lovely write about someone who obviously makes you happy. So many memories in one year.
Thank you for your romantic write, full of evocative images. -
this was very beautiful...so very nostalgic, heartwrenching, yet full of hope and of tomorrows...good luck
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I love this - Thank you for entering.
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AWWWWWWWWWWW!
this is beautiful. i love the story that this tells... it's as if i can see the relationship unfolding before my eyes. I love the images and scents and scenes you describe here-- they add to your emotion by illustrating each and everything's significance--- it's significant because they remind you of that person.
very lovely write. cheers. -
such a wonderful piece of love and about memories
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These evergreens
reminds me of the time
You can remove the s at the end of remind, and the flow would be smoother...
These evergreens
remind me of the time...?
I really enjoyed the images you presented in this piece. The emotion you evoked as well. Nicely done. Thank you for the entry.
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