spreading her branches
there it lies
her precious foliage
headed by a blossomed floweret
inserting my lingua into the leaf's folds
sporadically lathering the rosaceous bud
waiting for that morning dew
to fall upon my thirsting tongue
Author notes
This is my first short-erotica piece...I think it came out beautifully. The comparison made...just came to me last night as I was outside. I've never written such a metaphoric piece...especially when it comes to erotica. Gotta look for contests to put this in!
Feedback and criticism welcome...been a while since I wrote any erotica...but I think this is a good return to the game...enjoy.
A contest entry
- FLOWER POWER!! by Olivia33.
370 points, ended August 1, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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wow this is so beautiful for erotica...great use of metaphore "waiting for that morning dew to fall upon my thirsting tongue" that is so beautiful to be such a nasty, dirty action...u sly dog..lol
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Me likey! Garden/flower/vine imagery is my favourite, and it's rarely done well, especially in erotic poems. This has excellent diction; rosaceous (student of botany, eh?), floweret, lingua, thirsting... not sure if "ocassionally" fits, as it interrupts the flow for me, but for a first erotica piece, great stuff. Maybe I should try.
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HMMMM changed occasionally to sporadically...i think it sounds better!
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niceee this is so beautiful. wow i love the imagery...im amazed at how well it came out. you're not the type to write short erotica - OR use this much imagery in it. you combined it very well, im proud!
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love the twist of nature and erotica
so subtle but enticing
just enough to arouse
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Many visions came to me while I read this...a smile upon my face was put.I am not a person who does much in the vein of erotica,but if I did...this would be the reaction I'd want.very well done
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