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That summer

That summer
was hotter than ever before
and so
were you

I sat at a desk
as you lazed
on the grass
short skirted
and flirted

The day before
it had been me
today it wasn't

It never mattered
at seventeen
hot
is

HOT!


Author notes

I should have been working towards A levels but BLIMEY in 1976 skirts were short and summer days were hot and long.

In a list

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 9 of 9
  • ian sawicki silver member
    July 28

    Edit | Reply
    ah summer is hot right now - though we have had lots of rain it is now warm and kicking - i used to like freeverse when i was just starting out and not knowing the ways and i still do some here and there but i am not a big fan of it but this was a pot luck clicking into - so i will stae my thoughts without giving a hard time. ha, we all like love and fancy and when gals go short waht can we do but admire! i can not recall being seventeen, i can recall being drunk from 13 to now - it's all a bloody blur


    • cricketjeff gold member
      July 28
      Edit | Reply
      I rarely FV, I am frankly not good at it, but learning to express oneself in this economical fashion has to be good practice for packing extra punch in form, every comment is valuable, and I'm sure you've managed a few moments of sobriety along the way ...

  • AJ Morelli gold member
    July 20
    Edit | Reply
    i think i can only echo mary's comments here...

    a good entry here, thanks...

    al

  • Cat gold member
    July 20
    Edit | Reply
    this is a cute little romp- some
    extra imagery might have set this piece up
    a bit better but that said- i did enjoy the tongue and cheek feel
    of the end and the way the poet
    didn't attempt to take himself
    too seriously
    and allowed us to laugh along with his observations

    so cute!

    thanks so much for entering- it is good to see you here


  • Amera gold member
    July 15

    Edit | Reply
    I like this as it's filled with imagery and emotion. I do wonder; can you really remember back to when you were seventeen?

    Love,
    Amera♥


    • cricketjeff gold member
      July 15
      Edit | Reply


      It's not THAT long ago is it?

      We used to park the ox-cart outside the school, write with lumps of chalk onto slates and we had a very old teacher, his name was ...

  • DeGraw
    July 13
    Edit | Reply

    Great free verse!

    Hot is right...this is!
    Regards,
    DeGraw


  • Dalaney gold member
    July 13
    Edit | Reply
    excellent! your fv is on fire...hot Love, Lane


  • Thomas Scott gold member
    July 13
    Edit | Reply

    Luvit.

    The opening line/verse shows you had your priorities straight.

    Tom

1 - 9 of 9