Void of all emotion,
An empty shell of what I once was,
No longer there to care,
No longer do I need a face that lies,
Smiling but dying inside,
When I look at you I see nothing,
I feel not, I care not,
All emotions lost.
What an ultimate gift this is
I don't feel , I don't care
I don't breathe, I don't see
I don't love, I don't hate
I don't laugh, I don't cry
I don't need to pretend I'm fine
I don't live
I don't die
I simply exist ... Just like this
No longer am I there to care,
Just an empty shell of what I once was,
Void of all emotion.
Author notes
Prompt ~ Dark Quote
There's nothing like feeling empty. What a gift that would be, you would not have to give a care or pretend for the sake of others.
A contest entry
- OptionsOptionsPleaseEnter [PW] by stargazer..
800 points, ended July 20, 2008, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Best AP Poet Contest by davidbetzer.
1500 points, ended August 2, 2008, 33 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Honest Opinions Please
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Again another wonderful write dark yet sad in a sense and the quote used really fits with this piece of yours, thanks for sharing.
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Holy Jiminy Crickets,
You must have been watching the last two years of my most recent relationship that tanked. After 16 1/2 years it finally faded into the mist. Took almost five years before I was ready to move on and try a "real" relationship again. That hasn't worked out so well either, inspiration for another day I guess.
excellent write,
Peace
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I love the way you ended it, like you flipped the first stanza and put it on the bottom, very interesting. But I loved the one lined stanzas the most, it summed up the whole poem so well. You made the quote into such a wonderful poem! You definitely belong on AP
GREAT job
diggin it majorly
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Thank You so much :)
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In the spirit of the quote in your authors notes, allow me to spill some of this vacuous vehemence called vitriolic vengence upon the pages of your poetry. I think you forgot to include one "I don't" and that would be "I don't write poetry." As long as you are going to remain trapped in the egocentric realm of fleshy loss, not looking beyond the asinine aspect of our existence whose ultimate manifestation is the factory-like production of babies, you aren't going to write anything worth its weight in ink. If the person you are describing is as mediocre as the words you use to convey them, then your lack of ability is easily understood in terms of their being a black hole for quality whose event horizon you have passed.
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It's alsmot like I can feel this tlaking to me, so void of all emotion. Calling it a gift was a strong verse there, it almost made it seem glad they had no emotion, which would replace no emoitions with gladness... now I'm just being confusing, but don't mind me, it was a great poem!
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I like it a lot. I would change the line
"I simply exist ... Just like this"
to have either an enter or a comma in between but that's just me.
I like the first and last line being the same it gets the point across. So good job =]
Anonymousxo -
Oh, this is so sad and so intense,.... that sucks and its melancholy is somehow hauntingly beautiful... mmm...
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Here are five for your own choosing.
Life is an unexplained mystery and the pain we face today is tomorrows history.
He who strikes first is victorious. But someone who strikes first does so because he's afraid of being struck. So when you strike, strike to kill.
There's nothing like feeling empty. What a gift that would be, you would not have to give a care or pretend for the sake of others.
Time does not heal wounds. The brain just forces all wounds to heal and all memories to fade. Even if the evidence is not there the wounds will always remain."
Its time for you to know that this is the end. This is where ive crossed the line. Dont try to follow me. Soon you'll end up being who you dont want to be.
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