Deep within the underworld, a spirit waits for me
He holds the book of wisdom and creativity
The ink that he is using is touched with the divine
For all these hidden treasures are waiting to be mine.
His language speaks of reason and wonder to behold
For love and understanding are kept within his fold
The pen of words is speaking in inspired overtones
I'm rushing there to find him for he's not skin or bones
The street is filled with magic, an alleyway I find
It's leading to a passage, where waits my state of mind
My spirit then encaptures my hand in his to say
"My message will speak clearly when you write this today".
A contest entry
- Mega-Rhymer! by albymyheart.
1600 points, ended July 17, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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Captive
Love this. Perhaps the last two lines are weaker but this is lovely, inquisitive work. Well done. Heck, at this rate I'm gonna be commenting everything you've written but I really don't mind seeing such talent. Really well done on a fourth or fifth poem that has captured me.
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The pen of words is speaking in inspired overtones
I'm rushing there to find him for he's not skin or bones
this line gave me some serious pause. I had to think, go back and read again. Yes, I understand, in fact I think this is so profound to my own relation to it..funny how that works, huh?
I'm so glad I added you to my favorites, you're so talented, and the way you interpret your emotions is sometimes brilliant! This is an excellent example.
Wonderful,
Jin
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Thankyou
I am pleased that you are reading and understanding what I am trying to say.It is a priveledge, thankyou
, Ros
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A lovely rhyming piece as your muse seeks the devine It knows no boundry and crosses every line The meters sweet to my ear As to my lips is cherry wine I loved it Bill
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Delightful rhyme dear, an apt telling of a poet’s search for inspiration, well done!
With much love,
mj.
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The creativity coming from beyond this world or our unconscious mind. Interesting subject to write on and you have achieved it so well.
It flows with a consistant meter and your aabb rhyme sequence adds to the smooth read here.
This particular contest was a mega-rhymer and I was looking for poetry which had more than two lines with the same rhyme sound. Although I like your poem, I don't this this was the right contest for it to be entered into.
I do thank you for entering though...alby
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A most intriguing way of describing the inner muse. I like the flow of the poem, catchy phrases with a nice rhyme pattern. Well done.
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Wow this is really good. You've done a brilliant job. Deep and thoughtful. I like it very much. Well done on the most excellent write.
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This is very well done, well rhymed and contains a thoughtful message, which I enjoyed. I'm not sure about the word "encaptures" - maybe something more along the lines of "entwines" works, and I would insert an "of" before "skin or bones" in l. 8 for meter's sake.
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yup, a mega rhymer indeed!!
like the thought you portray here!!!
*giggles*
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Captivating poem.
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Good rhymes and meter - a little uneven, but I like the subject matter, and the fresh evaluation of the input of the unconscious (subconscious) mind into the writing of poetry.
I'm not sure that I like the rhyme in stanza 2, line 2. There are a lot of alternatives that could work more strongly.
Good luck in the contest!
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