Kirk is the Enterprise Captain,
A fact that everyone knows.
Taking his crew through the galaxy
For five years he boldly goes.
But Kirk is always on top of things,
When he beams down with Spock or McCoy.
He'll carry a couple of red shirts,
To act as clever decoys.
To be red means a dramatic death,
Forty-three out of fifty-nine.
So what can a poor red guy do,
To help this statistic decline?
Well, the captain has a small problem,
That he can't seem to keep in his pants.
So whenever Kirk can seek out a woman,
It seems the decoy's best chance.
If Spock and McCoy look for firewood,
And Kirk can pitch him a tent.
Survival for the red shirts increases,
By a good eighty-four percent.
So now we know hope does exist,
In the nameless red shirts' case.
They will always live long and prosper,
So long as Kirk stays the playboy from space.
Author notes
I grabbed the statistics from this site. It's a fascinating article by Matt Bailey that I highly recommend for those who have nothing better to do on a Saturday night haha.
http://www.clicktracks.com/insidetrack/articles/kirk_analytics.php
A contest entry
- star trek by trekkergirl.
400 points, ended July 20, 2008, 3 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Bronze I by Salty Hibiscus.
525 points, ended April 11, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Haha, this made me lol. I love the idea, it satisfies my geekier side. Also, the rhyme was good; usually I don't like rhyming but this was actually beneficial to the overall effect. I'm a fan.
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Ha!
"Red Shirt" is actually a phrase amongst us sci-fi and what not geeks to label somethignthat is absolutely doomed
Great write, as always, morbidly humorous.
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This was awesome!
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A fun read. Nothing wrong with toting around a few nameless and expendable henchman...they increase your own chance for survival!
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Merry meet,
Congratulations on winning the Bronze. This was wonderful and so true on the mark with your comments about Kirk.
Once again, Congratulations.
Amythest
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Haha - you love your humour, Sarah. I certainly didn't know about that red statistic. You have a skill with rhyme too in that some of your external rhyme was tricky and you managed it with applomb, you fiery sex-bomb lol. Hope all is well.
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A true fan!
Researching the probability of redshirt survival? Good job indeed!
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This is well written and I enjoyed the fact that you knew enough about star trek to know that if you wear red then you're likely to be dead by the end of the show.Good luck with the contest.
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