Once breathtaking, clean, blue and right
growth and expansion no evil in sight
soon taken over by greed death and gloom
this was our home we called planet doom
not such a big place as the universe goes
with a rather dull sun in spite of bright glows
at one time quite special and teaming with life
but this fated world gave into its strife
now its floats silently, dead blackened shell
bereft of a future left colder than hell
as fate weaves new planets on destinies loom
to replace the destroyed planet doom
A contest entry
- Options! Prewrites accepted. by after-silence.
900 points, ended July 14, 2008, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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Dark and delightful!
Excellent write! Wonderful imagery!
Regards,
DeGraw
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Very nice job. The last stanza has some interesting imagery, and the entire poem was certainly captivating. Your prognosis for our planet seems pessimistic but feels plausible. I think the rhyme is a little weak; you might want to look to expand your vocabulary a bit for future poems. I don't think it takes away from this one too much. Overall I enjoyed reading this. Thank you for entering my contest!
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