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this poem sucks.

captivated by the beauty of my sorrow--
a lovely crystal complete with colorful winds.
i indulge the silence of the night i borrow,
and obsess over the pain that i find within.
captivated by the beauty of my sorrow.

    love! oh love!
          his sweet heartache has brought me to this!
    love! oh love!
          my tender deception has made me
cold.

so sweetheart, you found that looking good is an art--
(i fail at aesthetics.) you need some makeup, creep.
paint that pretty face over your dark and trashed part.
maybe i should get some sleep.
so sweetheart, you found my perfectly dying heart.

    love! oh love!
          his sweet heartache has brought me to this!
    love! oh love!
          my tender deception has made me
broken.

i will never accept myself for what i really am,
because...well, the real me is completely composed of sin.

Please tell me what you think

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Comments


  • PrabhuDayal Khattar silver member
    November 15, 2008

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    HUM...THIS IS IT..AND ONE CAN'T ESCAPE FROM IT..AND YOU MADE IT VERY CLEAR .THE ETERNAL AND TRUTH FUL SCENARIO OF THIS LOVE IS SHOWN HERE ..WELL DONE..


  • the.art.of.drowning
    July 14, 2008

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    wow. that is really deep. and sad. it is a really beautiful poem. it has a nice flow too. really easy to read. but yet. captivating. nice job!