I never noticed the red
exit sign until
it began to blink and fade.
Author notes
A Haiku.
A contest entry
- Notice the unnoticed by Dienush.
900 points, ended July 18, 20 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Awesome
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um, this isn't a haiku, as the perspective is subjective and the syllable count is too much (19 syllables rather than 17, which is the most for a haiku normally). So I think that, with that in mind, you could use line breaks to mean something rather than trying to follow some syllable pattern, which would be a wrong one anyway (traditional haiku is 5-7-5 Onji; yours is 7-5-7. Don't worry, I used to mess them up too.).
As for content, I like this. It *is* an observation, and it really shows a lot of deep stuff beyond this day-to-day observation, even though it still is a good theme for our contest. In fact, it sort of speaks about the contest concept, not only around it. It is indeed that we only appreciate things when it's too late. I also think that your choice of color and object is very clever. red symbolizes a lot of things. An exit sign makes me think again about the title. Gone. It's so clever that you write about the exit sign being gone. There is such an emptiness to that. thanks for your entry
~Diana
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