I play you
in different shades of longing
coloured-in
to my make-believe world
where we collide
against the sky
in the shape of the moon ~
going around again
and I slip you beneath my dreams
silently crushed against my soul
where you'll stay
singing a melody to the night
leaving beautiful scars
upon my heart...
A contest entry
- The Yearn of a Turn by whispernthedark.
685 points, ended July 26, 2008, 14 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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This was a beautiful piece that was full with so much emtion that it was easily felt. I loved the first stanza and the idea of the different shades of longing. I also loved the image of this loved one eing tucked benetah dreams, that to me seemed really loving. Your final stanza though brings something a bit extra as it hints at the pain it can cause to yearn so much, and yet how beautiful it can seem. This was wonderful work using wonderful words. Great Stuff x
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Delicate
Poignant and delicately written of your yearning . Congratulations on the gold
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Yes, this is exactly what I was wanting. Beautiful, thank you for entering the contest. Good luck.
♥
whisper
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Superbly Wistful ...
Your make-believe world is absolutely wonderful. Thanks for sharing it. You’ve got my vote for one of the most beautifully penned ‘unrequited love’ pieces I’ve read in quite some time. Bravo, bravo!!!
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this is just so beautiful i was almpost singing it as a lullaby whilst i was reading it. the softness and movement in it is just stunning and captivating. another wonderful piece
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"in different shades of longing"
I love, love, LOVE this.
"in the shape of the moon
going around again"
Nature fuses with emotions and events...how do you do this?!!!
"and I slip you beneath my dreams"
Love this...
Your verb usage never fails to impress me in its uniquity.
Good luck..
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