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Under Jimi

In bed, no sheets,
no fluffy pillows cradle our
heads; we share a cigarette beneath
a Jimi poster, our thighs shake
hard and long, you breathe satisfied,
brush my hair back to see
my eyes looking up at the ceiling -
the room smells of laundry and sex,
hot clean darkness, nothing is hidden,
nothing is mine, the window
looks out onto a different street, walls
are silent, and when I lick my lips
I taste you, I taste the hours spent
getting here, limp and wet,
getting unused

to loneliness.

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1 - 19 of 19

  • Emmyb gold member
    July 5

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    this shows some true companionship and I am in love with this piece. esp laying under a jimi poster smoking a cigarette.


  • Gratitude
    July 18, 2008

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    Love the sense of freedom here. Very, very powerful writing... I absolutely love it! You paint such a clear picture in the reader's mind that it could be a photograph. Many, many applause!


  • Oleander
    July 18, 2008

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    This poem felt more personal. It was raw and really had a gripping way to pull the reader into it. I love this sort of image. This is neat, that you have all your poems listed under different colors. That's unusual and unique. I love your style.
    "I taste you, I taste the hours spent
    getting here, limp and wet,
    getting unused

    to loneliness. "

  • silverfish
    July 15, 2008
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    also . . . i likey the wall street thing . . . kinda 'bartleby the scrivener'-ish. :) -melvillefish

  • silverfish
    July 15, 2008

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    george harrison and jimi hendrix, two guitarists you've called down from heaven in your poems. the first with a guitar that gently weeps, the second played his to perfection (even on earth). i am intrigued by the image here of jimi over the bed like a crucifix or saintly icon. what's lonelier: hanging on a cross, or living apart from everyone as an artistic genius? the title says under jimi, and i wonder if the poetess in this moment understands something of that kind of loneliness, too. -silverfish


  • whits end silver member
    July 14, 2008
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    Such raw observations. Jimi Hendrix I presume, you were in a "Puple Haze", sounds wonderful.


    • Dalaney gold member
      July 14, 2008
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      :)

      ...just a little bit of a purple haze Thank you for reading and giving me three clappie guys Hope you are having a great summer so far. Love, Lane


  • Mairi bheag gold member
    July 14, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I just might pick this one!


  • whos my humblepie
    July 14, 2008

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    YUMMM
    I thought this was nice,
    a sweet pleasure well expressed, especially when you said you when I lick my lips..."
    I like this poem.


  • tomisb
    July 14, 2008

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    It is all smoke and mirrors and we believe our feelings even when they are being lied to. The rain is clear and clean but never smoked across us the way love once did when life was electric.

    Nicely got and Jimi could only stare down wondering at your meanings when he went unsaid. It isn't building the positives as much as filling in the blanks under the pretense of making things go away that never leave.

    Thanks, Lane. Just stopped by to see what's listening.

    Love, Tom B.


  • rhondasail
    July 13, 2008

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    ...I can almost 'taste the hours spent getting here' too...from your hard-hitting words that drop like the ashes from that ciggy...feels...sweaty and almost like the time wasn't enjoyed at all, or at least not by you...I don't read of any satisfaction but 'his'. But, a strong and powerful write in its grayness...Peace, Rhonda


  • Luna Tique Fringe
    July 13, 2008

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    I feel this one all the way to the bone. love your style.

    ".......the window
    looks out onto a different street, walls
    are silent, and when I lick my lips
    I taste you, I taste the hours spent
    getting here, limp and wet,
    getting unused
    to loneliness. "


  • HaleyMary
    July 13, 2008

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    Lots of emotion expressed in this piece and powerful ending. Loneliness can have a double meaning though sometimes. Even when people are around, if they don't express emotion to the other person, it can cause like a riff in the relationship and that can get lonely in life. Thanks for sharing your talent, Lane. Keep that pen flowing.


  • JohnnyD gold member
    July 13, 2008

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    Jimi Hendrixs ….for raw, bone breaking, imaginative power, the best guitarist there ever was…or has been. He burst on the scene
    About the time I went into the service and died not long after I
    Returned back in the real world. Yeah, the “real” world…save for
    I never seemed to have totally taken emotional grasp of it ever again.

    Anyone who was alive during that period remembers it as a time
    Of cultural and emotional change in our society, this shaped the here and now.

    I forget the exact words, but Jimi made a statement once that I thought somewhat odd when I heard of it, but turned out to be full of truth, and don’t quote me exactly on this however it was something like:

    “Funny the way most people adore death. Once you’re dead you‘re made for life. Most all of us have to die before anyone thinks one was worth anything.”

    Or something along those lines. Anyhow by late 1970 I was well aware of what he meant as the times had been turbulent for us all. So turbulent and so true.


  • MJ Donnelly gold member
    July 13, 2008

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    So...’Are You Experienced?’, LOL! Jimi's first album, I think he was a genius, and speaking of genius, this was erotic and hypnotic my dear, you do Eros well.


    Love and peace always,
    mj.


  • cricketjeff gold member
    July 13, 2008

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    You don't get used to the loneliness, even if they are still physically there.
    Even if there was never a picture of Jimi.


  • Cannonsfire
    July 13, 2008

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    Those last lines hit hard Lane, can see those hours parked before me over many years and yet we learn to live with them but not without the dream of something more. Love, C


  • Thomas Scott gold member
    July 12, 2008

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    Good Stuff!

    " ... getting unused to loneliness ... "

    It's the detail again ... truth is in that detail.

    Tom


  • Pure Thought silver member
    July 12, 2008

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    This has to be an historic memory. You quit, right???

    Umm, smoking. LOL

    Funny how the body quivers in time to the spasms of the mind.

    ...getting unused
    to loneliness.

    sigh...aaaahhhhh

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