Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Falling Stars

The stars are falling
The storm is brewing

Everything right and good
Has fallen
Fallen with the stars

The stars fall
The light falls
All hope falls

I climb the stairs of life
Only to find the end
The end of my dreams

The stars fall
The light falls
All hope falls

This perfect pasture
Full of life
Life that has no
Conception
Of the pain
I endure

The stars elude me
Flinch away
From my searching
Fingertips

The stars fall
The light falls
All hope falls

The lights blink out
Enveloping me in darkness
The darkness of my mind

Author notes

Photo credit: http://bottomofastairwell.deviantart.com/art/Enchantment-91110765

Completely metaphorical
Not about me, don't worry yourself

I didn't use everything in the pic - I completely ignored some elements of it - but who cares?

In a list

A contest entry

Be Honest

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • Lexie
    July 24, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    very sad, but lovely written!

  • stardust3492
    July 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is a really good poem! It is really sad but beautiful and expressive.

    "The stars elude me
    Flinch away
    From my searching
    Fingertips"

    I love that part! Anyway, great poem Katrina!

    Carrie


  • kiwigirljacks gold member
    July 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Ohh the pic is pretty!! Aww.. such a sad write for it!! Which of course I love

    Well done hun.. think you captured the essence of the pic well here!


  • notorious gold member
    July 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    "Everything right
    And good
    Has fallen
    Fallen with the stars"
    How epic and powerful...although I don't think 'And good' should be on a separate line...

    "Flinch away
    From my searching
    Fingertips"
    The emotion is apparent in these lines.

    I'm not a fan of poetry that has all caps for every lines (I did this when I first started writing poetry in December, but ceased after some advice). Just a suggestion...

    Thanks for entering and good luck (:


    • liduen silver member
      July 13, 2008

      Edit | Reply
      I'll take your suggestion about the "And good" being on a seperate line...now that I think about it I quite agree with that. I shall fix that in a moment...

      However, the caps stay My personal prefrence

      Thanks and good luck with your contest


  • notorious gold member
    July 12, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    LMAO, I'm not a flower girl myself...
    http://bottomofastairwell.deviantart.com/art/Enchantment-91110765

1 - 8 of 8