I get so tired
of being the woman
in clothes, always in control.
I want to be naked, vulnerable,
caught in a wind, I want to breathe in
from my pores, exhale laughter,
hold hands with strangers and
talk about life, because there
is nothing to hide when
scars are visible.
Author notes
...i feel like the image, too
In a list
A contest entry
- JUST WRITE YOUR FEELINGS... by mysticstorm.
475 points, ended July 24, 21 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 52 of 52
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Woah!
A beautiful piece indeed. Also backed up by a beautiful pic.
is nothing to hide when
scars are visible.
Oh my! These lines are so true! Loved it! Outstanding work and congrats on the silver!
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Down to the bare bones. A beautiful piece. Thank you for sharing
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oh wow! I love thise piece! I really needed that wow effect to get back into the world of poetry on this site, and you gave it with perfection. We all dream about being naked in one way or another, and I love the raw honesty in this. Superb!
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I'm learning to be vulnerable which seems to entail purging some pent up issues too... Thank heavens for poetry as and outlet to wrangle those wrinkles right out of the soul... Very inspirational...
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Remind me again, why we as women let ourselves get to this stage, I have felt it before and I feel it today. Why do we feel the need to conform to life as it should be and not the delight that it can be. You rocked my socks with this elegant, delightful and insightful piece. Left me wanting more so I will return to read this again. Thank you again for the priveledge.
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Back to read it again.
Lot of nourishment in this one, Lane.
Thanks for this. -
A little poem ...
... that fills our hearts with the love life. Such a delight! It takes a lot of romantic optimism to entertain the idea of naked strangers holding hands and sharing their lives without the clouds of reality moving in. But, I think you’ve hit on a real universal yearning here. Loved it. Thanks.
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stunnung, amazing and outstanding to say the least.
and just so you know i also
get so tired
of being the woman
in clothes
i would love to be naked.
i can really relate to your write.
great reading, very enjoyable.
loveandblessings2u & yours always
Joyce
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this is an amazing little poem! i long to be vulnerable and fragile and delicate too.
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This is a pensive piece, wistful desire to avoid all the falsehoods. It speaks of a soul that understands
Here is a poem of mine that I hope speaks back. Please note Myrataal's comment.
http://allpoetry.com/poem/2883416 -
Have some more applause! Please write another! This is so moving, so thought provoking, so unexpected. I beg of you, find a publisher!
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I. Absolutely. Love. This.
This is the first poem to really get me excited and make me want to write again. You rule for this! Please, please write more!
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Exquisite
I usually think of clothes as confining, rather than controlling, but you capture the sense of true freedom deftly. Someone who can exhale laughter will morph all her scars to elegant tattoos for the observer. Thanks for a moment of sanity and a glimpse of other possibilities.
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wow
very powerful and very inspiring, thank you -
you are talented lane
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This is wonderful, Lane - glad to see it get featured on the homepage. Sorry for clicking earlier and not leaving a comment - I had to step away from my desk.
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oh.... vulnerability... i am getting there. and though it can be scary, it is wonderful, too... yet, here i am, fully dressed. i have read some of your poetry before, and am never disappointed. you write from your heart with a deep clarity.
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I loved this. And I can relate so well.
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's nodding here, Lane. Exhaling laughter, being vulnerable, coloring outside the lines a little...
like wild flowers.
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awesome lol
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Great job!!! I truly this poem.. I feel many of these things every day of my life!!! Loved the ending!!!!!!!!!
Best wishes in the contest!!!!!!!!
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Great poem!
Love the final two lines! Powerful, succinct writing.
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Short, though highly meditative piece here....a wonderful reflection upon life, love and the universe... I loved it a ton.. bravo. bravo...
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Very very beautiful poem. It's full of feelings and great imagery. Wish you all the best in the contest.
Keep writing
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oh goodness..
this is powerful! excellent imagery, great story
and looks like what 'gold' looks like!
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Beautimus...
I feel like that picture as well
☼Becky☼
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It seems I forgot to give my appreciation to this poem.
A day without you is like a broken pencil. Pointless. -
...and just be...sigh...
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I feel like your words...how wonderfully true and deep...if only we could shed the covering and allow the scars to heal in the warmth of life...excellent work...thank you for sharing...
Best,
mystic
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Sensual, dark...breath-stealing, eye-opening...a beautiful match to a very deep picture, I very much feel this poem, especially the last lines. Well done and good luck.
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Gentleness is a perfect expression of strength. Often when intimacy stumbles into view scars are the first signs of its presence. I wait to hear of what steals the breath and lights a fire in the heart. Being naked is much more basic then nude. Nude is full of artistic pretense. Often the best way to be invisible is to appear to have nothing to hide.
Love Tom B.
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Excellent. Can't pick phrases out of it, because it's all good!
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I don't think its the clothes so much as the masking of self...to let go of all the restraint, the bindings...I like this write so much, I can't even express it! But I don't have to cause you've done a superb job of it already. Bravo! always, Rhonda
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“Because there
is nothing to hide when
scars are visible.”
Is a most interesting line
Which I will get to in a moment.
However, to me the best line was;
“I want to be naked, vulnerable,
caught in a wind; I want to breathe in
from my pores, exhale laughter,”
For that is far more important than not
Hiding scars, and the reason I say
That is because I’ve noted that most
Who attempt to do such, only expose
Certain scars in an attempt to hide
Others, more from themselves, than
People they know.
Have I? Guilty as charged…most so.
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"because there
is nothing to hide when
scars are visible."
excellent, Lane
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Uh, how about joining a nudist colony LOL! Just a thought.
But seriously Lane, your profound words always ring through to my soul, and the resonance leaves me tingling. All the best in the contest dear friend.
Love and peace always,
mj.
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You pen feelings so well, mine included.
Oh,if only...sigh....
Love
Sue
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Beautiful Lane and the
last two lines kick ass!
Love,
Amera♥
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What beautiful feelings you express in this piece. To just be free, with no cares and just be who you are. How magnificent is that?? Your words hold so much power.
Great job and good luck in the contest.
Soulful Woman
Nor
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My Lady
How you to be totally free, in mind spirit and body. Wonderful.
I like the shape of the poem, Fruedian slip or intentional. I don't think you do much by accident here, LOL, it's a control thing.
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Oh. This is very cool. I really like that picture. It makes me want to take on just like it and see if it would look half as good. Then I read your words and I thought that it just was a perfect exhale of thoughts for that kind of picture. You did such a nice job on this one.
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Beautifully Penned
I love this piece immensely. I too share your sentiments and I absolutely adore the pic. It is so very true that there is nothing to hide when the scars are visible. Great write and a pleasurable read. ~mandie~
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I'll disrobe you. Name the time and place.
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this is very expressive and well done. Great Job!!!
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And this ios so true dear. Somewhere I have a poem written years ago about pearls how they are all imperfect and i think there is beauty within our blemishes jusr depends on how we want to see it
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The most profound feeling I have ever had was in Key Largo walking naked on a deserted beach, hot summer, full moon. I miss that feeling of freedom a great deal. For some reason, your poem reminded me of that time, and I thank you for that.
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Good stuff.
" ... nothing to hide when scars are visible ... "
Big idea there. Luvit.
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I can relate; it hard to always have to always put on the smiling face, feign happiness, to appease people. A powerful write, I loved it.
G'luck! In the contest!!
~Pt
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I wonder about this always in control. I'm a bloke in clothes and I'm not in control of anything!!!!
But is there anyone better suited to write for a contest that says "Just write your feelings"
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I think this is a familiar feeling for many of us women.
yet, there are things in life, that can set us free even if just for a moment.
nicely written.
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Don't we all at various times, then we see the sun, an empty beach and we just smile
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