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Simply a Lonely Goose (or Maybe an Angry One. We're Still Deciding... Who Cares?)

 

 

 

 

 

          That goose,

   we saw him that one day,

          a Sunday,

 

  we were coming home from church,

        I helped out with the kids,

    they love the puppets,

 

 

 

he was alone

in the parking lot

of an abandoned mall

living his life

like nothing was wrong.

 

 

 

   Jen named him George.

We pretended he was curious.

Our little Curious George,

  the goose who flew solo.

 

 

We kept driving on.

We laughed for I don't know

How long.

When do you see

a goose alone?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments


  • lively banter
    July 18, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Yeah, the title made me not want to read ths poem.. But the content and the actual poem itself is nice. I liked the poem a lot, but I don't really think it goes with the prompt. Of course someeone would notice a lone duck in a parking lot if they have seen it. I'm glad I got to read this though .
    -Kevin

  • Dienush
    July 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Hmm. The title is a bit corny in my opinion, but otherwise I liked the poem. It re-counts the story with nice use of detail, but you should probably be a little more careful repeating filler words like "that", "the", etc. they burden the poem. Also, though I love how you gave this goose a personality, the end sounds a bit too tell-y. I think I would have preferred it if you'd just mentioned something that would make *me* go, "wow that poor goose is so lonely", without you mentioning it. The third stanza is by far my favorite. Thanks for your entry.

    ~Diana