I spilt milk on the sofa,
again.
I would go grab a plaid kitchen towel,
but they all seem to be on,
spin cycle.
Author notes
Ordinary thought: Friends can be so wrapped up in their own lives when you need them the most...
In a list
A contest entry
- Notice the unnoticed by Dienush.
900 points, ended July 18, 2008, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
-
A nice short and sweet poem. Good thing it wasn't wine that was spilt, eh?
-
Um. The comma after on seriously breaks the whole flow of your poem. But if I disregard that this is pretty funny, but also has a sad undertone to it. It's ironic, I guess that's the word. The simplicity of it makes it a bit hard to judge if it's your intention and good use of style, or just something written for the sake of it, just warning you. But I personally think it's clever. I see you put it into the friendship category - that, too, gave it a real context in my eyes. Deep metaphor is not what we were looking for with this contest, but I really see where you're coming from and I love the extended metaphor, the double meaning. this is something I love about poetry. Thanks for your entry.
~Diana
-
Good
Adding your comment:
